“Thanks.” She turned to go, pausing at the entryway to the room and turning back, her expression serious. “I’m trying, Holden. I really am. I know I hurt you before and I’d rather cut off my own arm than do that to you again. I’m going to make sure that if I take that second chance you’re offering me, I damn well deserve it. That I deserve you.”
Before he could assure her, yet again, that she didn’t have to do anything to earn his love, she disappeared. Leaving him sitting on the couch, wondering what the hell it was going to take to get through to his stubborn babygirl.
Chapter31
Holden
How the hell was he supposed to convince Frankie she deserved him?
That was the question that had been plaguing him for days now, ever since he’d kissed her. She loved him, he was pretty damn sure of it, but she was still holding herself back because she didn’t think she was, what? Worthy of him? That she hadn’t earned his love?
“You keep glaring at that whiskey like that, it’s going to catch fire in your hand.”
Braden’s smooth, amused voice pulled Holden out of his dark musings and back to the present, where he was supposed to be enjoying a relaxing day with his friends while the girls went dress shopping.
“Sorry. Just a lot on my mind.”
He didn’t miss the looks that passed between the three of them, looks that clearly said they knew exactly what was on his mind.
“What’s up with Frankie?” Ice asked, and Holden nearly laughed at how easy it was to read his friends. Then again, apparently he wasn’t exactly a closed book, either.
“I wish I knew,” he told them, lifting the tumbler to his lips to take another sip. “I kissed her the other night.”
Another shared look had him rolling his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, it was a mistake. But fuck, I miss her. It’s driving me crazy to have her so close without being able to make her mine.”
“Gee, if only someone had told you that might happen,” Braden muttered.
“Yeah, well, you were right. Happy?”
“Not really. I’d be happier if you weren’t so damn miserable. This whole ultimatum or whatever you’ve given her is obviously not working for either of you.”
“It wasn’t an ultimatum. I’m giving her space to make her own decisions.” Although, she apparently hadn’t understood that, since she’d been givinghimspace.
“And how’s that working out for you?” Beckett asked.
“Oh, it’s just fucking great.” His dry response earned him a round of chuckles. “Honestly? I don’t know if it’s working at all. Neither of us seem to be on the same page about anything, and when I kissed her the other night she was the one who stopped us from going any further because she said she wanted to be sure shedeservedme. I have no fucking clue how this got so twisted.”
Looking up, he found all three of his friends staring at him as though he’d just grown three heads. “What?”
Ice spoke first, his words slow and measured. “Whatexactlydid you say to her when you told her that you wanted to keep things… platonic?”
“I don’t remember, exactly. I know we talked about the concerns Cordelia brought up, about being sure she was with me because she wanted to be and not because she just didn't have anywhere else to go.”
“You’re a fucking moron.” This from Beckett, who looked torn between amusement and horror as he shook his head. “You really can’t see how she got ‘You need to prove yourself to me’ from that?”
Annoyance ran up his spine, making him fight the urge to squirm in his seat. “No, because that’s not what I fucking said.”
“Doesn’t mean that’s not what she heard.” Holding his hands up in the universal gesture of surrender, Ice shrugged. “I’m just saying.”
“Have to agree with our friends here,” Braden said. “Sounds like you fumbled the ball on this one, Prescott.”
“Well, what the fuck was I supposed to say, then? I just wanted to know it was her choice, that she was choosing me. I wantedherto know it was her choice.”
“Did you tell herthat?”
Frowning into what was left of his whiskey, he thought back to that first conversation.
Had he told her that he wanted her to be sure it was her choice? He remembered telling her he was concerned she was with him because she didn't have anywhere else to go, and that they needed some space from each other. But had he ever told her that he’d wanted her to know, for herself, that she was choosing him?