Page 70 of Break Me, Daddy

Completely fine.

Chapter26

Frankie

The kitchen was cleaner than she’d expected it to be. Cleaner, actually, than she could ever remember seeing it. Which was saying something since Holden was somewhat meticulous about how he kept his house.

But now, the kitchen literally sparkled. All evidence of her binge the night before had been cleaned away, and there was even a fresh trash bag in the can. Not a single reminder of her lack of self-control remained.

It was, quite possibly, one of the most thoughtful things anyone had ever done for her.

She didn’t deserve him.

That thought continued to plague her as she settled in at the kitchen table, under his watchful eye while he made them breakfast. All the things he’d done for her, including giving her the space to make up her own mind about their relationship instead of forcing his own wants and needs on her, were far more than she deserved. And far less thanhedeserved.

And how did she repay him? By lying to him about her therapy appointment and then going on a binge the second life got a little too hard.

Maybe her mother was right. Maybe she was spoiled. A spoiled brat so used to getting her own way she couldn’t cope when something even remotely upsetting happened.

That rock of guilt she never seemed to be without lately grew heavier as she rolled that possibility around in her mind. She didn’t deserve him… but maybe she did deserve something he could give her.

“You should spank me,” she blurted out into the silence that had enveloped them as he cooked.

Turning away from the stove, Holden frowned. “Absolutely not.”

“Why?” Now that her brain had latched onto the idea, she was nearly desperate to convince him of its merits. “I did something bad, and I should be punished. We’ll both feel better after.”

“I am not going to punish you for something that was out of your control, Francesca, and that’s final.”

Pushing to her feet, she crossed the kitchen to stand beside him, arms folded over her chest as she glared up at him. “It wasn’t out of my control. Don’t make excuses for me.”

“I’m not making excuses.” Once again, his eyes were full of sympathy and understanding where she’d expected to find disappointment and anger. She still wasn’t quite sure what to do with that. “I told you, I’ve been reading about anorexia and bulimia. I’m well aware that a binge is often out of the control of the person doing the binge. I am also aware a binge can be triggered by emotional stress, which is why you’re going to call your therapist. See if you can’t pinpoint the trigger and make an action plan for when it comes up again.”

“Maybe it wasn’t triggered by anything. Maybe I just don’t have any self-control. Maybe I’m just a spoiled brat who?—”

“Francesca.” The whip-crack of authority in his voice cut her off. “Stop it right now. You are not going to provoke me into spanking you. But if you keep going down that road, you will find yourself sitting at that table, writing out lists of positive affirmations until you physically can’t write another word. Am I understood?”

Desperation clawed at her, sharp knives shredding whatever sense of self-preservation she had left. She wanted him to spank her.Neededthe emotional release it would bring, the relief from the ever-growing guilt weighing her down.

And there was one thing she hadn’t yet confessed that was guaranteed to get her exactly what she needed.

“What if I told you I lied about my therapy appointment?”

His eyes narrowed, and finally,finallyshe got the flash of anger she knew she deserved. “Did you?”

There was so much hardness in his voice, she had to swallow hard before she was able to answer. “Y-yes, Sir. I said Lottie would take me but she didn’t even know about it. She got in trouble with Braden for covering me when it came up at Silver’s the other night.”

“Why would you lie?”

“Because I didn’t want to go.” If she was going to confess, she might as well be honest, right? “I already know everything she’s going to tell me. I learned all the coping mechanisms years ago. There’s no real reason for me to go.”

“I might buy that if you hadn’t put yourself in the fucking hospital, Francesca. I swear, I’m tempted to wear my belt out on your ass until you can’t sit for a week.”

Fucking finally. “You should. I deserve it.”

“Trust me when I say I’m seriously considering it. But I want to be very, very sure that you don’t confuse whatever punishment you do get for lying with the punishment youthinkyou deserve for bingeing last night. I’m not going to feed into that if I can help it.”

Goddammit. Did he really have to see her so clearly? “Sure. Whatever.”

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