Breathe. Just breathe. Whatever it is, you can handle it. You’re a fucking Legare.
“We need to talk.”
No shit.Swallowing the sarcastic response, she nodded and focused on peeling the top off her yogurt. “About?”
“You know I care about you, Frankie.” His laugh was forced, tinged with bitterness. “That’s the understatement of the year. I’m in love with you, and I have been since the first moment I laid eyes on you. The problem is, you don’t love me.”
Forget breathing. How the fuck was she supposed to do that when there was a vice around her chest, squeezing every ounce of air from her lungs?
She’d known he cared about her. Was obsessed with her even. But love?
“You don’t love me.” Even as the words burst out of her, she winced. What an asshole thing to say the first time someone confessed their feelings for you. “Sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.”
One silver eyebrow raised, drawing attention to his eyes, which were carefully void of any emotion. “How did you mean it, then?”
“Just that you don’t know me. Not really. You know the fun, sexy version of me that’s always up for a good time. The bratty version that likes pushing your buttons. I’m a fucking mess, Holden, and you can’t love me because I’m?—”
“Choose your next words very carefully, little girl.” The warning came out as a low growl, and now his eyes were anything but empty. Fury burned in the brown, and a muscle jumped in his jaw as though he were working very hard to hold his anger back. “Because if you are going to say anything about how I deserve better, or you’re too fucked-up to be loved, you’re going to have a very difficult time sitting comfortably the rest of the day.”
“You can’t just threaten to spank me whenever I say something you don’t like.” Though the fact that he had loosened the tightness around her chest, at least somewhat. If he was threatening her, it was because he still cared, so maybe he wasn’t completely done with her after all.
“I can when you’re talking shit about the woman I love.”
Throwing her hands up in the air, she flopped back in her chair, annoyance and relief battling in her chest. “I’m so confused. Are you dumping me or not?”
“It’s nothing quite as straightforward as that. Like I said, we need to talk.”
“Aboutwhat, exactly?”
“Well, for starters…” He paused, and she got the impression he was weighing his next words very carefully, which did nothing for the anxiety running prickly fingers up and down her spine. “Why did you call me when you were in the hospital? You could have called Lottie, any of the girls from the club. But you chose me, even though you’ve barely given me the time of day since you ended things. Why?”
Swallowing hard, she jerked a shoulder. “I dunno.”
“Then that’s something I need you to think about. Did you call me because youwantedme or did you call me because you didn’t think you had anywhere else to go?”
Hearing it laid out so bluntly was a blow she hadn’t been expecting. “I wish I could answer that for you.”
His lips curved just slightly, but the smile didn’t touch his eyes. “Yeah, I wish you could, too. And I wish I could ignore that feeling in my gut that says it was the latter, but I can’t. So what I need is to know that you’re here, with me, because you want to be. I need to know I’m not just your last resort.”
It was all entirely fair. And still, it felt like someone had stabbed a knife right through her heart. “I do want to be here.”
“But would you be here if you hadn’t ended up in that hospital bed, knowing you couldn’t go back to school or to your parents?”
“I-I don’t know. I’m sorry, I know that’s not the answer you want and I know it’s a shitty one, but I’m trying to be honest.”
“I know. I appreciate the honesty, even if it isn’t what I want to hear.”
She had to swallow the lump in her throat to ask the next question, the one she didn’t actually want him to answer. “So… what do we do now?”
Leaning back in his chair a bit, he raked a hand through his hair, and her heart clenched at the sight of her huge, commanding Daddy looking so uncertain. “Take some time, think about what you want. From me, from our relationship. Not just right now or until you’re better, but long term.”
“Oh.” For a long moment, she could only stare at him as her mind scrambled for something to say. “I can’t really think about the long term right now. Not when everything is still so…” At a loss, she gestured vaguely around her.
“And that’s my point.” God, he looked so fuckingsad. “I’m not pushing you to make a decision right now, because you do have so much going on. And I will be here for you through all of that, if that’s what you need from me right now. You have a place in my home, however long you need it.”
Oh, thank god. At least he wasn’t kicking her out.
As soon as that thought flitted through her mind, she felt like an asshole. Was that really all she wanted from him? A place to stay, someone to take care of her? If it was, what did that say about the kind of person she was?