Cheese was too fatty, but it was probably the best compromise she was going to get. “Sure.”
“Good girl. Water or tea?”
“Water, please.”
While he made himself busy with lunch, Frankie pulled her phone from her purse, wincing at all the missed calls and messages. The last thing she wanted was to answer a bunch of uncomfortable questions in the group chat, but she owed them some kind of explanation. At the very least she owed Lottie the truth.
“Um, I’m going to go make a quick call.”
“To who?”
Annoyance raked sharp fingernails across her nerves. “None of your business.”
Turning, he pinned her with a look that was soDaddyshe nearly whimpered. “Come here.”
Shit, shit, shit. She should have just told him. Now she was going to get her ass blistered and then she’d have to tell him anyway.
Why couldn’t she just behave for once in her fucking life?
Her feet felt like lead as she dragged herself over to stand in front of him. Holden gripped her chin, his burning eyes meeting hers. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to tell me. But youwillbe respectful. Am I understood, little girl?”
“Yes, Daddy.”
“Good. I’m not going to spank you, at least not until you’re feeling a bit better. But keep in mind I have plenty of tricks up my sleeve to teach a naughty little girl some manners. Go make your phone call and lunch will be ready when you’re done.”
“Okay.” When he released her, she hesitated, nibbling on her bottom lip. She hated feeling so off balance, especially with him. Before she’d ended things, he’d always been a safe place for her. Someone she could be one hundred percent herself with, even if being herself ended with her sobbing in Daddy’s arms with her bottom on fire.
Now, she wasn’t sure where she stood with him. How much she could let him see therealher, the broken, fucked-up her before he decided she was just too much for him to handle.
But being off balance and scared was no excuse for being a bitch, so she swallowed her pride and met his eyes. “I’m sorry I was rude.”
“It’s already forgiven, little siren. But thank you for the apology.”
Turning on her heel, she hurried for the door leading out to his back deck. But when she pulled the sliding glass shut behind her, she could only stare at her phone.
“C’mon, Frankie,” she mumbled. “Don’t be such a pussy. Legares aren’t afraid of anything.”
With a deep breath, she swiped open her phone and hit the button to call her best friend.
“Frankie?” Lottie’s voice, frantic and thick with tears, was like a knife in Frankie’s heart. “Oh my god, are you okay? Holden said you were, but he also said you were in the hospital and I’ve been so fucking worried.”
“I’m okay, Lottie-baby.” She tried to keep her tone light, but it was hard when she was holding back her own tears. As humiliating as it was to admit the truth, if anyone deserved it now, it was Lottie. She’d been one of the friends who had visited Frankie in rehab even when her own parents wouldn’t come, and she’d been one of Frankie’s biggest cheerleaders during her recovery. “I, um, had a bit of a relapse. But I’m with Holden and I’m going to get better.”
A long, strained silence met her pronouncement, and she nervously paced the back deck, waiting for Lottie’s inevitable explosion. For her best friend in the whole world to tell her how disappointed she was, that she was through with her for good.
“You lied to me,” Lottie whispered, and of all the things she could have said, that simple truth hurt the most. “I’ve been asking you for weeks if you were having trouble. You barely ate when we were out, and I couldtellyou were losing weight. But you just lied and said everything was fine.”
Tears blurred Frankie’s vision and she swiped angrily at them. “I did. And I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Lottie. I thought I had it under control, I swear I did. I think… I think I was lying to myself as much as anybody.”
“Are you going back to rehab?”
“No. At least, not right now. I’m, um, staying with Holden for a bit and I have a feeling I won’t get away with not eating around him.” She tried to make a joke of it, lighten the mood a bit, but Lottie didn’t laugh.
“Good. I think he’ll be good for you. I never understood why you dumped him in the first place when you two are so obviously crazy for each other.”
Because I’m not good enough for him. Because he deserves so much more.
“Just dumb, I guess.”