Page 5 of Waiting Game

I wanted to remember, to savour what we had.

His gentle kiss turned into something more urgent, and he tangled his fingers into my hair. I wrapped a leg over his body, pulling his hips towards mine.

“Valerie,” he whispered, “don’t.”

“Please,” I begged.

He pulled away and searched my face, looking for answers in my expression like he always tried to do. I was an open book to him. He knew me better than anyone. He knew what I was thinking, how I was feeling, at any given moment.

He was not so easy to read.

I studied his face, trying to remember every line and every edge. I noticed how much he had changed since our first kiss at twelve years old. His plump, boyish face had grown and sharpened into the defined jawline of a man. His chin was covered in dark stubble instead of freckles. His body was hard now, instead of soft and cuddly.

I wanted to remember every version of him, except for the next.

I didn’t want to see his eyes hardened and desensitised to violence.

I didn’t want to see his hands covered in blood.

“Please, Ren. I want to,” I begged again.

“If your father finds us,” he shook his head, “or Antoni.”

“Please,” I sobbed.

The sadness returned to his eyes. I knew he wanted it just as much as I did. I knew that this would be my last chance. I wanted it to be him.

I wanted him to be my first - even if that was all I got.

He closed his eyes, his eyebrows creasing together into a frustrated frown.

I reached up, cupping his cheek with my hand. He opened his eyes again, and the sadness was still there - but so was something else. Ren pulled me close against him, kissing me again.

It was desperate, and it was full of fire and need. He rolled over, positioning himself on top of me. He took off his shirt, throwing it to the side, and I rubbed my hands over his stomach. I was nervous to lose my virginity, but at the same time I wasn’t - because it was him.

It could only be him.

“This is so dangerous,” he muttered against my mouth.

“Just once, Ren,” I begged.

He stopped, pushing me away.

“I don’t like how you keep acting as if we’re never going to see each other again.”

“I’m sorry,” I said, pulling him close to me again

“Just,” he said, pushing me back, “promise me you won’t do anything without talking to me first? I - I don’t want to lose you, Val. No matter what happens.”

I nodded, pulling him to me once again, reaching down and unbuttoning his jeans.

“I promise,” I lied.

Chapter 2

Right Now…

Valerie

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