Page 55 of Waiting Game

I didn’t understand it at all. After the past couple of days that we spent together, how could she run back to him? It was only a few days, a few stolen moments, but it was the first time in a long time that I felt complete. She was here, and it only further proved to me that she had always been the missing piece.

“No, they haven’t,” she said.

I shook my head and looked down, “you’re lying again.”

“I never wanted to be a part of this, Ren. And yesterday, I became a part of it. I became everything I hated. I became-” she trailed off.

“One of us?” I shrugged.

She looked down and wrung her hands together.

“Do you really think, after all the good you do, that killing one person -saving our lives, makes you a bad person?” I asked.

I knew for a fact that Valerie was a good human, she had always been the best person that I knew. She felt too deeply for this side of the world, and she judged herself far too harshly. Maybe there was something broken in the rest of us, that allowed us to push away the nagging conscience that Valerie seemed to have.

She shrugged, still not looking at me.

“Why are you so obsessed with good and bad, right and wrong? There’s so much more to life than that. Nothing is black and white. Have you not figured that out by now?”

“Because Ren,” she snapped, standing up, “I refuse to become like my father, or my mother. I refuse to be a part of something that causes so much pain, and violence, and hurt. Why the fuck do you think I went into healthcare in the first place? I want tohelppeople. I don’t want to be involved in any of this. You know that, and you’ve always known that. I gave you many chances to come with me, but like all of the men involved in this fucking family - you put that first, instead of me. So don’t fucking act like I’m the one leaving you behind, because you left me.”

There were a few beats of silence.

I swallowed hard. There was a lump in my throat that wouldn’t budge.

She took a deep breath and paced the room, running her hands through her hair.

“You chose this life over me.”

Valerie stood in the corner of the room, facing the wall. The girl never liked to cry in front of anyone, but I could hear her muffled sobs. They were the loudest thing in the room, and stung more than the stitches in my side.

“I’m so sorry, Val,” I said quietly, “you know if I could go back, if I could change things-”

“But you can’t,” she spun around, her expression now soft, “and that’s okay.”

She smiled, but her nose was pink and her cheeks were still damp.

I sighed, and patted the bed next to me.

Val was hesitant, but she walked over slowly and then perched on the side of the bed.

“I will always care about you, Ren. These few days with you have been great, okay? But I can’t live like this. I won’t.”

I nodded.

“I’ll stay a few more days, okay?” she smiled, “until you’re better.”

I laid back down, taking a deep breath.

She leaned over and kissed me on the forehead, and I closed my eyes.

I had a few more days, at least. A few more days to convince her that I wasn’t the monster that she thought I was. A few days to convince her to be mine once again.

Suddenly, I was in no rush to get better.

17

Chapter 17

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