Page 33 of Waiting Game

She had a satisfied smirk on her face.

Vera always got a special thrill out of humiliating me.

“Come on,” Rome grabbed me by the elbow and led me out the front door.

I got into the passenger seat of her car without thinking, without asking where we were going. I was just grateful that she had bailed me out, yet again.

If only we had a normal mother-daughter relationship.

Then I could tell her the truth.

That I had broken off my engagement. That I wasn’t so sure about my life in Perth anymore. But I couldn’t admit to any of that without seeming like a fool, without proving her right. Which was the last thing I wanted to do. I came here wanting to hide Pete, without saying a word about him - yet it seemed to be the thing I defaulted to.

It was the easiest little piece of proof to say “Look! I’m happy! I’m loved! I’m fulfilled! He’s a good person, and so am I.”

But I wasn’t so sure anymore.

“You can keep the cash for yourself,” Rome said, snapping me out of my spiral, “I’ll pay for the flights on my card.”

“Thank you,” I said, and she smiled over at me.

I looked out the window and there were a few beats of awkward silence before the word vomit started again.

“I’m not broke or anything,” I explained, “it’s just… I’ve just moved, so I’ve spent all of my savings on new furniture and-”

“Couldn’t your fiance help you out?” she asked, “not that I mind giving you the cash, of course, but don’t doctors make pretty good money?”

“Yeah,” I started, and took a deep breath, “the reason I moved out was because I broke things off with him. I just didn’t want to come here and answer all the questions about why I was single.”

She smiled, “I get that. So why didn’t things work out with him?”

“I don’t know,” I sighed, “there’s just nothing there. You know? He’s a good guy, a great guy. He’s everything I ever wanted for myself. But,” I exhaled deeply, “I don’t know.”

Rome nodded.

“Hey,” she shrugged, “either there’s a connection or there’s not. It’s not something you can force, even if they’re the most picture perfect person in the world. Hell,” she laughed once, “I thought I would be single forever. Everyone’s a little fucked up and trust me, I’m more fucked up than you are, but I still found my person.”

I smiled and nodded, then looked back out the window.

She was right. It was exactly as she described.

Pete met every single item on my list of what a good person should be, what a perfect partner should be. He was loyal, he was kind, he was smart, he had a good job doing something meaningful. Pete was the kind of man that mothers dreamed that their daughters would marry.

There was nothing blatantly wrong with him.

But there was no true connection, and that became more and more apparent with the more time that we spent together. I had only realised recently just how hard I was trying to force it, to fit myself into a puzzle where I didn’t belong.

I couldn’t count the amount of times Pete had waved a red flag right in my face, and I just grinned and happily ignored it for the sake of having that relationship.

Maybe it said more about me than him.

“Where are we going?” I asked.

“To the gym” she smiled, “I figured you had some rage inside of you that desperately needs to get out.”

“Just a little,” I mumbled, and she laughed.

“I think Antoni’s there training, so you can take some of it out on him if you want,” she smirked.

---