Page 17 of Waiting Game

“Do you regret leaving?”

I blinked at her, the question catching me off guard.

“No?” I said slowly, “sometimes, maybe? I don’t know.”

She nodded, understanding.

“I get it,” Rome smiled, patting me on the arm, “this life isn’t for everyone. Just like how normal life isn’t for some of us either.”

There was a beat of silence as her words sunk in.

It had never occurred to me before that someone would feel uncomfortable in the normality of life. Something I had spent my life yearning for as I was growing up.

It felt so far away until I was inside of it.

“I’m guessing you won’t give me the goss behind you and Ren?”

I laughed and shook my head.

“Fuck,” she smacked her leg, “I just wanted to have the one up on Toni.”

“There’s really not much to tell,” I shrugged, laughing.

She narrowed her eyes at me, leaning in close.

“I’m engaged now,” I blurted, and I wasn’t sure why.

“Wow, congratulations,” she clapped her hands excitedly.

“I’m sorry, I have no idea why I said that. Please don’t tell anyone, not even Toni,” I begged, turning to her.

I had come here determined to keep everything a secret about my new life, but I had already told Rome about Pete. Plus, it didn’t help that it technically wasn’t true.

I had called off the engagement. Why did I have to open my mouth?

Was I so insecure? So determined to prove to everyone that Ren never crossed my mind? So desperate to prove that there were no lingering feelings or tension between him and I?

It had been a decade.

A whole ten years since I had spoken to him.

“Don’t worry,” she said, “I won’t say anything,” she zipped her lips.

“I’m sorry, it’s just-” I sighed, “I don’t want them knowing about him.”

“Hey, I get it. Your brother’s a scary dude,” she smirked, “to some people.”

“You’re not scared of him? Of what he does?”

I couldn’t imagine being able to love someone who was such a text-book bad guy. I knew my brother, I knew that he was a sweetheart. But I also knew the realities of what his job entailed. I knew what he was capable of.

I had an idea about the kind of things he would have done by now. I took another drink as my imagination ran away.

This was exactly why I left.

The images of Antoni beating someone bloody were bad enough even in my hypothetical scenario. I don’t think I would be able to look at him the same if I had stuck around to witness it.

“Of course not,” she smiled, “he would never hurt me. But if he ever tried, I know that I could take that little bitch down anyway.”

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