Page 21 of Bad At Love

Hands shaking, he opened the main door and stepped out into the rainy night. The chilly wind and prickling raindrops that drenched him instantly had nothing on how cold he already felt inside.

9

Chaaru sank into the rectangular tub and gasped as the luxurious warmth of the thick, mineral-rich mud enveloped her. She groaned at the pleasant warmth soothing her sore muscles after a long week. The same sounds came from Mona sliding into her own tub.

Slowly, Chaaru leaned back against the edge of the bath, the cool stone beneath providing a firm foundation when all she wanted was to close her eyes and float outside of her own body.

The texture of the mud was silky smooth with a velvety consistency that glided into every divot and nook as she settled deeper. A tactile overload she didn’t need with DP featuring in her X-rated dreams every night now. Which usually ended with her hand sneaking down between her thighs to assuage the ache.

Even when she got herself off—helped by her trusty vibrator, the aftermath was a hollow loneliness. Two weeks of this silence between her and DP, if it could be called that, and the life she’d so painstakingly crafted suddenly felt shallow. Even the rift with her family hadn’t hurt this much.

She missed him checking on her with perfectly punctuated texts, dropping in for dinner because TJ made another horrific-tasting protein shake, seeing him puttering around the house fixing this and that.

God, she just missed him.

Matching her morose mood, November rain pattered against the windows. The atmosphere inside the spa was cozy and inviting, thick, frosted glass diffusing light to create a soft, ethereal glow. Potted ferns and cascading vines added a touch of natural elegance.

“So…what’s up between you and DP?” Mona asked after a while. The mud had taken on a tacky consistency, forming a thin layer that tightened across her skin.

Chaaru huffed without turning. A part of her wanted Mona to drop the topic. Another confused part wanted to bawl until the mud washed away her heartache.

The next thirty years stretched out endlessly in front of her, with her chasing fragile, foolish men who couldn’t give her what she needed. The very freedom she had relished lacked anything deep and real.

No doubt Mona had noticed their stilted greetings to each other at Laura and Leo’s housewarming.

DP had barely looked at her. Avoided standing near her. When he’d finally made eye contact with her during the charades game...it had been like looking at the sun directly, blinding and intense.

How had she lost him when she wanted to avoid exactly that? And what was it he wanted from her? A fling? An affair?

“I know you’re awake, Char,” Mona said, her words muffled, thanks to the boozy brunch they’d already partaken in. “You better sort this out now before you two bring this… awkward energy to my anniversary celebration. It’s in a week.”

“We had a…fight,” Chaaru said, knowing she needed to talk it out. Suddenly, a week in Cancun with DP around sounded like a special kind of torment.

“What kind of fight?” Mona said.

Chaaru licked her parched lips. The taste of clay and something else she couldn’t pinpoint drifted on her tongue. Followed by a crusty flake that fell into her mouth that she absently chewed on before spitting it out. God, she’d probably just swallowed the dirt off her own body.

“A friendship breakup, I think.”

Mona sat up. Her eyes widened, managing to look alarmed in a face that was covered in brownish gray drying goo. “No! This is you and DP. You two are…” Mona frowned. Thick cracks appeared on her smooth forehead. “You’re stronger than the rest of us who’ve made vows to each other.”

“But we didn’t. Make vows, I mean…” Chaaru said, her best friend’s words hitting a tender spot. Not just tender, but raw. She felt turned inside out. Because vows meant nothing to her and that kind of relationship had no place in her life. Right? “We’re not a couple. So, when things go…sideways, the relationship falls apart.”

“That’s not true, Char. You adore DP and he worships the ground you walk on. No way you two are done.”

“He worships the ground I walk on?”Chaaru sat up, fissure lines appearing all over her skin like a major earthquake. There might as well be a million fissures in her heart. “You’re the queen of grand declarations, but that’s a bit much, no?”

“No,” Mona said without hesitation. She turned towards Chaaru, sloshing around in the mud. “I don’t understand. Why are you fighting this?”

Frustration crept into Chaaru’s words. “Fighting what?”

“You and DP. Yes, you aren’t officially a couple. But you would have been, eventually. If we weren’t all too nice, we’d have had a pot going on when.”

It felt as if the world fell out from under Chaaru’s feet. She stared at her best friend, her mouth opening and closing, a croak emerging from her throat. She wouldn’t be surprised if she looked like an oversized frog mucking about in…muck. “That’s…what…why are you saying that?”

Mona frowned. “Why are you acting like this is news to you?”

“Because itisnews to me. How does the entire world know how he feels about me?”