So many lines had been crossed tonight and he just couldn’t go back to the way things had been before. Which meant he’d have to admit his own feelings for her.
* * *
Chaaru tookher time in the shower, hoping DP would leave. Cowardly, given she’d just had one of the most intense orgasms of her life while picturing him.
She hadn’t started with him in mind. But the stress of the day caught up to her and this sudden…thing with DP had thrown her for a loop. And her peri-menopausal body acting, for once, as it should and filling her with a deep hunger, she’d wanted,needed, him.
When she delved into her folds, she was dripping. That first drag of her fingers had felt so deliciously feverish that she’d fallen back against the cold tiles. And then, as if he’d been waiting to star in her fantasies, DP had been there, with that smile, those intense eyes and that densely packed body.
She couldn’t stop imagining him all around her, over her. Inside her.
The DP in her fantasy was just as generous as the real man, spurring her on towards the edge. When she fell over into spine-tingling climax, he’d held her, kissed her as if she were precious. Gazed at her with wonder. The imagined intimacy after the climax had filled her with painful longing.
She shrugged on her robe, walked to her bedroom on still quaking knees, to discover the mirror standing against the wall. Shocked, she’d stared at her lust-glazed eyes.
Had DP heard her chant his name? Had it disgusted him? God, why couldn’t she have waited until he’d left?
Now as she came down the stairs, her cheeks heated at the sound of his deep laughter. She clutched the banister, fighting guilt and hot shame, old patterns rearing their ugly heads.
No, what she had done in the privacy of her bathroom, whoever she imagined, it belonged to only her. It was not wrong or shameful.
Another male voice joined the laughter echoing across her small living room and the tension between her shoulders loosened.
When she finally came down, Kaasi was advising DP on how to decorate his shed on Animal Crossing. Legs crisscrossed, they sat on the rug, swapping the controller between their hands, the feeble light from the floor lamp dancing across their broad backs.
For long seconds, she stood silently, watching them interact, her wet hair dripping onto her chest. Two empty plates sat on the coffee table. No doubt DP had given Kaasi a bigger portion of what she’d saved for him.
Heads bent towards each other, nudging each other’s shoulders, and exchanging advice on how to decorate a barn of all places…her heart felt both lighter and heavier in her chest. Memories of such sweet moments from the last decade battered her. Joined by new, foolish wishes for the future.
Suddenly, theirlittle momentearlier turned into more than simple lust, unlocking something that had lain dormant for years.
Chaaru shivered, wondering if she could pretend that she hadn’t seen the void in her life that only DP could fill.
7
Asoft gasp made DP turn around, his fingers frozen on the controller.
Chaaru stood behind the island, her eyes full of such longing that his heart kicked. The silk robe she wore hung loose at her neck, revealing the white lace of her top. Dark shadows cradled her eyes.
Tenderness filled him at how tired she looked. The last thing she needed was for him to heap his ‘feelings’ on her. He swallowed, disappointment making him feel small. Not that he could have said much to her with Kaasi here.
“Hey, Char?” he said, when she didn’t move for a whole five minutes. “You okay?”
She blinked and nodded, her gaze sweeping over his features with that same greed and urgency he understood well.
Kaasi paused the game and turned around. “Hey Mom! Wanna game with us for a bit?”
As she walked around the couch, the robe parted to show off her thick thighs clad in shorts.
DP looked away, helpless against the fresh desire pouring through him. He bit off a groan as a new realization hit him. What he’d done earlier had cemented her deeper in his bones. Until now, loving her had been a passive act, like breathing. Now, he’d turned it into something with fangs and teeth and its own demands.
“I should get going,” he said, pushing to his knees. A litany he had sung all evening. Was this going to be the rest of their lives?
“No, don’t rush out on my account,” Chaaru said without meeting his eyes. “I just came down to say good night.”
“Yeah, stay. Please, DP,” Kaasi said, thumping DP’s shoulder. His warm brown eyes, so much like his mom’s, shone with eager affection. “Been a while since we hung out.”
“Yes, well, junior year in college is taking it out of you, huh?” DP said, ruffling his hair.