Page 34 of His to Claim

Damon doesn’t comment and we start walking again. With each step, I’m reminded of what we just did. I’m sore and my panties are soaked. Walking away from this without getting knocked up would be a miracle because that man just fucked me so hard my legs are jelly and my vision is still hazy.

In my head, I quickly calculate where I am in my cycle and if pregnancy is even a real possibility.

Fuck.The answer is yes. A very resounding yes. Honestly, I don’t think we could have scheduled a better time to do it because I should be ovulating right now. Biting down on my fingernail, I realize five minutes of getting pounded against a tree might’ve just changed the entire course of my life.

And yet I don’t regret one single moment. In fact, if having his baby means keeping Damon in my life then I’m fine with that. Because I’ve come to realize he’s a wounded man and there’s nothing I want more than to help him.

I know better than anyone that sometimes family can help in the most miraculous way. They give you a home and a place where you can always safely retreat and regroup after the world becomes too harsh. They don’t judge you and they love you fiercely.

Maybe that’s exactly what Damon needs. A good family who will embrace him.

14

ARCHER

After our walk in the woods, or maybe I should say our romp in the woods, Carlotta and I return to the cabin. She tells me she’s going to go take a shower and all sorts of dirty thoughts and images fill my head. I can’t stop thinking about the larger rustic shower, its water raining down on her naked body. I know our time is running out and I want to make the most of it.

Being the insatiable beast that I am, I shed my clothes, make sure to grab a condom this time, and stroll into the bathroom. She glances over, eyes widening then smiles in welcome.

“Mind if I join you?” I ask huskily and make my way over.

“I was hoping you would,” she says, her eyes skating down my body. I’m already half hard and there’s definitely no hiding it.

I pull Carlotta into my arms and for the next forty minutes, I find myself lost in her, lost in a heaven I’ve never known before. It’s why I can’t seem to get enough of her. There’s something so incredible that happens when we’re together, the moment our bodies join, and it’s beyond indescribable. Unlike anything I’ve ever experienced before. All I know is she fills the empty spaces and I don’t feel so damaged or so alone anymore.

Once the water runs cool, I turn it off, grab a towel and wrap her up. Then I carry her to the loft’s bedroom and lay her out on the bed. Stretching out beside her, we kiss and touch and explore each other’s bodies thoroughly. As though we have all the time in the world.

After spending most of the day in bed, I’m ravenously hungry. We decide to go down to the kitchen and whip up some easy comfort food. Our options are limited, but I find a big frozen pizza and nothing ever tasted so good. We devour it and talk while we eat. I’ve never opened up this much to a woman before, but I trust Carlotta. I even tell her about my uncle who I lived with after my parents died.

“Uncle Bill was former Army and I’m grateful he took me in when I had nowhere else to go, but he wasn’t an affectionate man. He fed me, put a roof over my head and made sure I went to school, and that’s about it.”

“All children need to know they’re loved,” Carlotta says, “with words and gestures. My family is so affectionate. Always hugging and teasing. I can’t imagine it being anything different.”

“My uncle didn’t have any siblings and my aunt couldn’t have children, so I don’t think he knew what to do with me, to be honest. I came to him after Aunt Sue had already died and half the time I think he wished he could’ve handed me over to an orphanage or something.”

“That’s awful.”

“He wasn’t a bad person. He just…ignored me.”

And sometimes that’s the worst thing someone can do to a kid. Hell, to anyone. Making someone feel invisible and like they don’t matter is a terrible feeling.

“I’m so sorry, Damon.” She lays a hand over mine.

“Not much I could do about it,” I say with a shrug. “It’s probably why I’m such a loner. I don’t need much when it comes to people and relationships.”

She lightly squeezes my hand. “You need more than you think and you’re worthy of love and affection.”

My chest tightens—or maybe it’s my normally cold, empty heart—and her words hit me hard, on a visceral level. Is she right? Am I worthy? For so long I’ve kept myself closed off to others, alway telling myself I don’t need anyone, that life is simpler when I’m alone. Thoughts of Caitlin hit me like a sucker punch and I drop my slice of pizza, my appetite shot to hell.

I can still picture her body laying on the floor in the bedroom, her blood soaking through the beige carpet. Crimson stains that would never come out and a horrific image that would be forever burned in my head.

“What’s wrong?” she asks softly, picking up on my heavy feelings.

The urge to tell her makes me talk. I’ve never confided in anyone about Caitlin’s death, and I haven’t talked about it since the police arrived that long ago day five years earlier.

“I had a girlfriend once,” I tell Carlotta in a low voice, and she leans forward, listening closely. “Her name was Caitlin.”

I let out a sigh, always wishing the situation could’ve ended differently. That I would’ve had the balls to break up with her when I knew things weren’t working out. But I guess I always knew deep down that we didn’t have a future together. Our relationship was a here and now type of thing, nothing I ever viewed as permanent and leading to marriage and kids. But instead of facing her like a man and ending things, I always just ran away on the next op.

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