Page 2 of His to Claim

Angelo has always been more like me. Not quite sure of his purpose, but now that he’s found Blake, he seems so happy, so utterly content.

But me… I’ve been struggling lately trying to figure out where I belong and I’m just not sure. I’m much more creative than my business-minded brothers, but when I think about a career and what I want to do for the next thirty or forty years, I come up blank.

It’s a good thing money isn’t an issue or I’d be back home living with my parents in Sicily. But since they’ve made my brothers and I all shareholders in the company, money gets deposited into all of our accounts every quarter. The wine makes a fortune and then I let Enzo play with it and he makes me more money.

So money isn’t an issue. But love and finding something I’m good at seems to be my biggest problem. More than anything, I would love to find my person and find my place. As corny as it sounds, I feel like I’m not fulfilling my destiny, that I’m not doing whatever it is I’m supposed to be doing.

I just wish I knew what that was exactly.

After slipping on a little black dress and heels, I grab my purse and head out. It’s good for me to get out of the house and I do enjoy chatting with my sisters-in-law. Maybe they can help me figure my life out. Because right now, I feel lost. More lost and confused and lonely than I ever have before.

Raising a hand, I flag down a yellow taxicab and hop inside. I tell him the name of the cute little restaurant where we’re meeting and settle back in the seat and scroll through my phone. Traffic is always a nightmare at this time of night, so I get comfortable and settle in. Luckily, the place we’re meeting isn’t too far away and, once we arrive, I pay the fare and hop out. Even though everyone is always Ubering nowadays, I still like my crusty, old school NYC cabs. Guess I’m classic like that.

My heels click against the polished wooden floor as I walk into the trendy restaurant and see my girls already gathered at a corner table. I wave and make my way over to the very fertile group of women. Alessia and Miceli are awaiting baby number two already and she looks ready to pop. Hannah and Gabriella gave birth not long ago and are still nursing their new little bundles of joy. And Blake looks slim as ever, but she’s a couple of months along. My brothers are ridiculously virile. It’s not something I like to think about too hard, so I push it out of my mind fast before I accidentally envision something that I don’t want to ever picture.

“Hello, beautiful mamas,” I say in greeting and sit down. I immediately flag a waiter over, needing some alcohol in my system. “Can I get a cosmo?”

He nods and walks off.

“Not a mama yet,” Blake states, sliding a hand over her flat stomach.

“It’ll be here before you know it,” Gabriella tells her with a knowing smile.

“How was the honeymoon?” I ask Blake. She and Ang just got back not long ago. After getting married, he flew them up to Maine in his helicopter where they stayed in a little, cozy cabin. My brother likes to show off his piloting skills, but he’s damn good. I think he missed his calling as a Navy pilot.

“Amazing,” she answers dreamily. “Going back to where we fell in love was really special.”

“Aww, we’re so happy for you,” Alessia says, and everyone nods.

A minute later, the conversation inevitably turns to babies and motherhood. They’re all new moms and I understand they’re learning a lot from each other, but I immediately feel left out. So I just smile and nod and down my drink then quickly order another one.

I don’t have much to contribute to the conversation and, eventually, I’m staring off into space, wondering if I’ll ever be able to join in and offer some useful or valid piece of advice about being married or having kids. After a while, Blake and Gabriella seem to pick up on my silence.

“Okay, enough about babies,” Gabriella states, and I send her a grateful look. “Just so you know, Carlotta, as the only single woman at this table, we’re all a little jealous.”

“Jealous?” I echo in disbelief. “Of what?”

“Your freedom, for one,” Blake says.

“Having the world at your feet,” Alessia says.

“And being able to go off and do whatever you want, whenever you want,” Hannah adds.

“I don’t feel very lucky,” I say a little glumly, but I suppose they have a point. “In fact, if I’m being honest, I’m a little envious of you guys. Okay, more than a little.”

There’s such a wistfulness in my voice and I can’t even try to hide it.

“You’re so crazy happy,” I continue, “and, don’t get me wrong, I’m so very happy for you. I just…I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Lately, I’ve just been a little…”

My voice trails off and they’re all listening with rapt attention.

“A little what?” Alessia asks gently.

“Lonely,” I admit in a quiet voice. Then I quickly add, “But I know it’s my fault. I don’t go out as much as I should and I have a hard time trusting men.”

“I was the same way,” Blake says. “It’s a miracle Angelo and I ever met. My entire life had been work and I never went out. Not socially, anyway. Just to hunt down bad guys.”

I smirk, imagining Blake as a bounty hunter in her former life. Now that she’s married and expecting, she doesn’t run around and capture dangerous people any longer. Mostly because Angelo would have a heart attack.

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