Page 121 of Tarek

As the reception slows, people settle into their groups, having quiet conversations around the hall. I smile at some guests, weaving through the hall trying to find Tarek.

Turning the corner at the back wall I hear Tarek’s voice. “I want to give a small toast to the sons of Lakeshore. Congratulations, Rhet.”

I step closer peeping past the cluster of peonies. I watch five men, seated in a circle of chairs, lifting their glass in union. They clink them together with a toast before drinking.

“Who is next on the chopping block?” asks the redhead with a twisted grin, Cole I think his name is.

The handsome blond with the glasses and neck tattoos, Dax leans back in his chair, raising his glass toward Tarek with a sly grin. “That asshole right there, he has found his girl and up next vagina trophies or marriage. His ass is next.”

Tarek laughs into his drink, his shoulders relax. “Don’t talk about my girl’s vagina or my kids like that.”

Jasper, my new rock star bestie, snorts. “See? His kids. The fucker is already planning. He’s definitely next.”

I freeze in place, my eyes are only for Tarek. There is a glow to him, a soft warm expression spreads over his face.

“How many vagina trophies do you want?” Dax teases, trying to hold back a grin.

Tarek shakes his head. “Stop talking about my girl’s vagina. I will bash your face in.”

“Yeah?” Dax arches his eyebrows. “I would like to see you try,”

Why did that sound like a threat?

Jasper cuts in rocking on the back legs of the chair. “Okay. Okay. Serious question. How many kids you talking about? For real.”

Tarek stirs the ice in his glass, his smile softens. “As many as she wants to have. One, two, ten. I don’t care.”

“So, you want kids?” Cole asks, with a hint of scorn.

“Yes, I want them. I can’t see life any different,” Tarek adds.

He can’t see his life any different.

I clutch my chest as the breath rushes out of me. A searing ache blooms in my heart. He wants children, so much is written on his face. Joy, love, and happiness. I, I can’t give him any of that.

A weight presses against my chest, and I am gasping for air. My chest aches, not from jealousy or deceit but from an empty grief.

I can’t be what he needs me to be. If I can’t be what he needs, then like everyone else he would leave me. The room blurs as I hear the laughter of the men still teasing Tarek.

Look at him, happy and radiant from a thought of a future that I can’t give him. I step back, my hands tremble as I press them against my stomach. My heart caves in and it feels wider, empty.

I have to leave him. He deserves more; he deserves someone who can give him all his heart desires. Someone who isn’t me.

* * *

TAREK

Everything feels like a blur, the pictures, the speeches, Rhet and Zeeta’s first dance.

I just want the chief bridesmaid. I have a necklace in my pocket with her name on it. However, it doesn’t feel like all the necklaces I gave out before. It doesn’t look the same either. I didn’t tell the boys about the necklace because they would think that I wasn’t serious when I say I loved her. I just need to talk to her for a minute or two. Penny has avoided me at every turn that I make. After talking to the guys, I head out in search of her.

Now I am leaning outside of the women’s bathroom waiting for her to come out.

A few women pass by tossing me a curious smile as they leave. All I want is the smile of the red-haired siren in the bathroom.

My eyes almost missed the green dress as it turns back and re-enters the bathroom. So, I was right, she was hiding from me.

Pushing myself off the wall, I enter without hesitation. The bathroom attendant eyes widen. “Sir you can’t be in here right now.”

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