Page 157 of Tarek

My mom wipes her tears away and steps back. “I have to go. You, your brother, his sponsor and I tomorrow at 7:00 p.m.”

I nod, watching as she makes a quick but frantic departure.

ChapterNineteen

Ilyana

It’s my birthday today. The house is silent–so silent I can almost hear the absence of life within the walls. Not even the faint sound of a maid’s footsteps breaks the stillness. Of late my son has been sleeping with his father in the pool house.

As I grow older, I can’t help but look back at my life. It’s an endless reel of hurt, pain and nothingness. I am 29 years old, and I have nothing to show for it. No accomplishments, no accolades, no close friendships. Nothing.

Except my son. He has been my only companion over these years. As time passes, I find myself dreaming of a world where he doesn’t exist. A world where I never met Dereck. I never fall in love with him. Instead, I chose a different path. I go to school and become a mythologist. I would travel the world and collect the stories of writers of old. I would teach at universities and my students would love my class.

There would be tons of photographs, curating moments of places and people I would have spent time with. In my dream world my husband and my son don’t exist, but my joy and freedom do. And yet here I am trapped here in this world with them. I dream of escape, of running, of never looking back.

But it’s my son’s eyes that tether me here. He searches for me, even when I’m mean, when my depression has swallowed me whole. His eyes find me searching for a love that I struggle to give.

It’s my birthday today and I have no one to share it with. No one I love is willing to love me back. Living in this void for 29 years makes you want to give up.

A person would say you have an unhealthy obsession with love. I would tell them I know. Because I know that part of me is worth loving. Even though my mother didn’t think so, nor my father, nor my husband.

But Miranda believed in me, when we were friends, she would tell me that I was enough. It’s a pity she alone ever felt like that.

This birthday will be different. I will make it memorable. I’ll show my son that he is enough, that he is loved by me and by his father. I can’t rewrite the past, but I can still try to shape a better future. For him. For me. For us.

* * *

PENNY

“Archie, she freaked out. I mean I wanted a family for so long.” God, it’s cold. The crisp air tells me that fall is approaching.

Archer stops in his tracks on the stairs of the Glasshouse. “Why do you say that?”

With my handbag on my wrist, I stare at him puzzled. He looks crossed, annoyed even. “Say what? Continue walking.” I push him forward; he moves.

“That you want a family. We are your family. Mom, Roxy, me and now apparently Tarek.” The glass doors open, and I send a wave to the staff at the podium. Upon seeing us Janaka, instantly is at our side.

“Don’t be insulted. You know what I mean,” I reply.

Archer stops in the middle of the Glasshouse and turns to me. “No, Pen, I don’t.”

“I just…” God I hate when he does this. That thing where he is my big brother, and he wants me to explain.

“You just never viewed me and mom as family?” he comments.

I swallow. “No. It’s not that its just?—”

“You are my little sister, and I am and will always be your big brother and that’s all that matters,” Archer pulls me in for a hug not caring that people are watching at us.

“Okay.” My eyes instantly begin to leak and wipe them away. “Damn preggie hormones,”

“I still can’t believe you are about to be a mom. Our kids are going to rule Lakeshore,” Archer comments.

“Here we are.” Janaka slides a door open and as expected my mother was already seated with her back to the door.

“It’s about time,” My mom stands and kisses Archer first. Then she pulls me into a tight a hug and kisses me on my cheek.

I walk around the round table and sit perpendicularly to mom and place my bag on the chair beside me.

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