Page 155 of Tarek

“You, thrusting deep and hard inside of me. The doct-.”

She didn’t have to ask me twice. I lift her into my arms and carry her into the bedroom.

* * *

PENNY

Every muscle in my body feels like liquid. With Tarek I am learning what real intimacy is. It’s not just sex. It could be us falling to sleep together on the bed, prolong eye contact, the way he times the spoon to be lifted to my mouth to feed me. The way we dwell in silence and being comfortable in it. This situationship is becoming a relationship and part of that frightens me. I am frightened that I will grow accustomed to this life of intimacy and then he will rip it all away. As he sits on the bed feeding me, a Mediterranean bowl, I bask in his attention. The sense of safety that he offers me and now my babies. I love the way we crave each other.

I love seeing the red lines I leave on his skin, the small brushes of hair trailing down his chest and into his jeans. I love the bite marks he leaves on me. It’s proof that this is real and we belong together.

I watch the necklace shift against Tarek’s chest, that familiar gold chain with a coin pendant. Every time I’ve seen him, its there around his neck.

“Who gave you that chain?” I ask as I reach forward to touch it.

Tarek looks down at the chain and gives a sad smile. “My mom.”

“Oh, that is?—”

A knock interrupts my train of thought.

“Who is that?” Tarek places the bowl on my side table and we both leave the bedroom. As he moves to answer the door, I grab a robe, tying the belt. I reach the front door just as he does, and together, we step aside in sync as my mother sweeps into my apartment, arms overflowing with shopping bags.

“Finally! You didn’t answer your phone. Do you enjoy making your mother worry? You and your brother always have me in a tizzy.”

My mother places the shopping bags on the floor. “I can’t believe the traffic. This apartment is much too small Penelope, you have enough money to get a …”

Her eyes land on Tarek, and she just stares at him speechless.

I take advantage of her rare silence. “Mom, this is Tarek. Tarek, this is my mom.”

With a bright smile, Tarek reaches forward with his hand. “Hi, it’s nice to meet you.”

My mother blinks rapidly and looks down at his hand. “You are a beautiful young man.”

Tarek blushes. “Um…thank you.” He pulls back his hand and scratches behind his head.

My mother stares at Tarek like she sees a ghost. “Where did you get that beautiful chain?”

Tarek lightly touches the pendant. “It was the last thing my mother gave me before she died.”

My mom nods and swallows like she was struggling with something. “What’s your whole name again dear?”

I stand closer to Tarek, trying to shield him from whatever my mom was going to say.

“Tarek, my name is Tarek Fairisles.”

My mom bends her head and exhales. “Please get out.”

“Mom!”

She reaches forward and pulls me to her side. Holding my hand tight she trembles.

Tarek’s expression becomes unreadable, but there is a flicker of something, calculations, maybe before he speaks. “Can’t say I remember meeting you before, but if I did something that upset you, I apologize.” His voice is even and calm.

My mom lifts her chin. “There is nothing to discuss. Leave now.”

Tarek presses his lips together, as he thinks. Then with a nod, he steps back and says, “All right.”

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