Page 104 of Tarek

My mind whispers, “Tarek.”

What about him? It’s not like we are in a relationship. My heart sank a little with that thought. Do I want a relationship with Tarek? Well no, because as I can see, he is really just here for the free sex I offer, because I desperately want a baby.

I slap my hands over my face and groan. “God, I’m so pathetic.”

I mean, what the hell did I expect from Tarek? Maybe that’s why he ran last night because he realized that our—what should I even call it? Our situationship is based on sex. Yes we enjoy each other’s company, well at least I enjoy his, I don’t know if the feeling is mutual. But enjoying his company doesn’t mean that he enjoys yours.

The way he left when I told him I had my period says it all. Maybe I should stop this whole idea of having a baby and just adopt a kid.

I roll to my side on the sofa resting my head on a pillow. My back and my legs feel like they are on fire. A tear runs down the side of my face onto the cushion below my head. I really have no one. No one ever sticks around, no one stays because they want to. Not even a baby in my stomach. Am I so disgusting that no one wants to stay? A ragged groan escapes from me as I begin to cry. I scream into my pillow, thinking about how dad walked away because of me. It’s like I’m cursed.

My stomach grumbles while I am having my mini mental breakdown.

“Period hormones are such a bitch.” Closing my eyes, I inhale, trying to calm myself down. Reaching for the phone, I open my food app and placed an order for Ramen and some fried spicy tofu.

My body feels so heavy, I will just close my eyes for a little while. I just need to rest.

* * *

A pounding sound wakes me up. Pushing off the sofa, I rub my eyes.

“Snap what time is it.”

The pounding continues. “I’m coming. God that ramen better be fabulous,”.

Shuffling to the door, I open it.

“Thank you for…” I blink, trying to clear the sleep fog out of my mind. Tarek is standing in front of my door with six brown bags and flowers are hanging out of one.

“Hey,” he says.

“Hey, you came back. I thought you left,” I murmur. My heart leaps for joy.

“I did, um. I went to the store to get you girl stuff to make you feel better,” He raises the bags slightly.

Again, he came back, with “girl stuff” for me. He came back.

“So, these are sort of heavy can I come in?” he asks, like he was gauging my reaction.

Shaking the fog away. “Yes, please come in.”

Tarek walks past me, and he smells amazing, like oud wood and rich spices. Closing the door behind me, I follow him to the kitchen watching him drop the bags on the counter.

With hands hovering over the bags, he is talking to himself in a hush tone.

“Can you please sit and allow me to take care of you?”

What the hell is happening? Tarek is here in my house for something more than sex. He wants to take care of me.

“This is sweet, but you didn’t have to T. I can…” I start, but one look at his face and I know he means business.

“Sit.” He says firmly.

“Yes, sir.” I practically march back to the sofa trying not to giggle or kick my feet. Tarek is here…and he wants to take care of me.

* * *

TAREK

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