Page 79 of One Touch

“Tell me about Miller.”

My shoulders dropped, and I swallowed around the bile that wanted to climb up my throat. “I… he’s the best. He’s smart, funny, and kind. He knows how to cook and doesn’t put up with my attitude. He’s also messy, has never used an iron, and if I didn’t tell him where to be, he’d be late to almost everything.”

My mother smiled. “He sounds perfect for you.”

I snorted. “Yeah, well, like I said, we’re not together.”

“Is that because you don’t want to be, or something else?”

“Well, I don’t want the entire world to talk about my sex life, especially when I don’t even know how to classify myself. Not that it matters. He’s moving out.”

The reminder of those brochures I’d found earlier tonight sliced through my heart, and I hung my head. My eyes burned, and I pinched my leg to stop the tears from falling. I would not cry in front of my mom.

“You can love him without being gay. Maybe you’re asexual or demisexual? There are numerous ways to identify yourself, Lathan.”

My head snapped up. “Huh?”

She chuckled. “Hey, I’m hip! I’m on the gram. I’m a proud ally.”

“The gram? Who are you?” I shook my head. “I know that, but if I were to tell people, then they would have questions. I don’t want to talk about it. It’s none of their business.”

“And did Miller say you had to tell people?”

“No. But it’s not fair for him to live in the shadows.”

“Hmm. I think you’re so used to monitoring yourself for me that you’ve forgotten that not everyone is an asshole. Again, I’m sorry I never realized how much of a toll it took on you.”

“Who are you? I’ve never heard you say sorry this much.”

She laughed. “Another thing I should apologize for. Parents aren’t infallible, Lathan. I’ve failed you in all the ways that matter. I might’ve given you the best tools to succeed but I forgot what counts the most.”

“Perhaps, but it’s a moot point. He’s moving out, and our arrangement is over.”

“I think you should talk to him. The man I saw tonight didn’t look like someone who was over you. Please don’t make the mistakes I did and assume. Ask the questions and fight for what you want. You deserve to be with someone who loves you, and from what you’ve told me, I think Miller does. Don’t push him away because you’re scared, son.”

“But the press…”

“Despite what I’ve taught you, you can’t live your life for the press. Hiding who you are robs the world of the real you. It doesn’t mean they won’t try to ask questions, but you don’t have to answer them. I’ll do my best to shield the hate; eventually, they will move on. If anything, Miller can help you. He’s been out in the league his whole career; he’ll know how to navigate it. And if it’s a huge concern, then we can get a PR team on it, and I’m sure the Aces will back you. No one is forcing you to tell anyone; I just don’t want you to hide either.”

Her words gave me a modicum of hope, but the fear was still present. Was it that simple? Should I tell Miller how I felt and let the rest sort itself out?

Our food arrived shortly after. While we ate, I told her about the friendship bracelets Miller made, his work with the Rainbow Lounge, and how my own cat preferred him over me. My mother nodded and smiled the whole time I spoke, allowing me to talk. It was nice, and I’d forgotten how much I’d enjoyed our talks like this in the past.

“I know it might not be worth much, but if you’d like my opinion, I think I know a way you can show Miller how you feel.”

“But what if…”

She shook her head and smiled. “No what-ifs… nothing in life is guaranteed, sweetie. You know this. You can plan and try to control every aspect, but life has a way of, what’s the word… deking you out. Did I use it right? It’s been a while since I’ve used the lingo.”

I smiled at her attempt to connect with me. And she was right. Hadn’t Miller taught me that too? Sometimes, the best things in life are unpredicted. But the one thing I’d become certain of, with one touch, on and off the ice, he had become my person. He could try to move out, but I wanted a chance to fight for him first. I wouldn’t let him walk away.

“All right, what’s your idea?”

My mother smiled, leaned closer, and told me the most ridiculous idea ever. But it could work. It was worth a shot, at least. By the time our check was paid and James was driving me back to the apartment complex, I had everything I needed to win my man.

Because he was. Miller was mine. It was time I showed him he was more important than fear and hockey.

As I entered the apartment, it was quiet, and dread weighed me down as I lumbered to the room Miller used. The door was opened a crack. Without opening it, I knew what I would find behind it: emptiness—just like my heart before I met Miller, just like my life, just like me.

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