Page 49 of One Touch

“Did you take care of yourself?” I asked, disappointed I wouldn’t get to touch him.

“No. I came from watching you.”

“Really?”

“Really.” His hands trailed over my arm until he got to the bracelet I wore every chance I could. “The sight of this does dangerous things to me,” he whispered.

I swallowed. I wanted to know more, but the fluttering in my chest told me I wasn’t ready. “Why do you make them?” I asked instead.

“My sister, Lottie. She’s autistic, and sometimes it’s hard for her to express herself. One of her therapists suggested making bracelets as a way to work on her fine motor skills and give her an outlet. She loved it, and I loved how it gave us a way to talk. I started making them for my teammates and friends and liked how it made me feel. Not only to create something but to show people you care about them in a safer way. It started because of her, but I continued because of me.”

His words pierced my soul, and I felt like an ass for dismissing them at first. “Wow. That’s really beautiful.” I searched his gaze and found only acceptance. He didn’t hate me for denying him. “Tell me more about your family.”

He smiled and dove in without question. I envied his ability to trust explicitly. “I’m one of five kids.”

“Seriously?”

“Yup. I’m in the middle. I have an older brother and sister, and a younger brother and sister. The younger two are still at home, though Tomas will be graduating college this year and I see him moving in with his partner soon. Jonah and Ivy are married and live in Pearfolk, where we grew up. I’m the first one to ever leave and not come back.”

“Was it hard to do that?”

“Not really. I don’t know if it’s because I’m in the middle or the only one who liked hockey, but my family didn’t get me. Jonah followed our dad’s footsteps and works the apple orchard and farm. My mom is a teacher, and Ivy works in a café, part-time. Her true passion is running her small business. She makes goat soap and other oddities. My mom runs a pie booth, and people come from all over for them. Pearfolk is small, and it wasn’t until college that I discovered how different it was from the rest of the world.”

“How so?”

“It’s hard to explain but it’s almost like there’s a town understanding to keep things the way they are. For example, the first time I used the internet was when I applied to Carrington, and that was after a scout approached me at a game and told me to apply. I had to go a town over to do it because no one in our town had it, and the library only had a dial-up, and after thirty minutes of using it, I’d given up. Everyone knows everyone, and they all help each other out, but it also means everyone is always in your business. It wasn’t until college that I realized how sheltered my life had been. It’s why I hadn’t considered I was gay until—” He stopped himself, and his face flamed red.

“Until what?”

“It’s nothing. But yeah, going home is often like stepping through a time portal. Social media is nonexistent, everyone still has a landline, you barter for most things, and no one cares that I’m a professional hockey player, or gay.”

His experience was so different from my own. I’d been in the limelight for so long that I didn’t know how not to be constantly on and aware of how everything I did would come across to my mother’s voters. Not having to worry about it sounded too good to be true.

But it also gave me insight into Miller and why he was the way he was. He was as good as he presented because he’d never needed to hide who he was. His town might have been behind the times, but they’d been accepting. He was wholesome, and his sunshine outlook wasn’t an act. It was real.

“Is that why you don’t cuss?” I asked, needing to distract myself.

“Sorta. It wasn’t common. I didn’t even know what a cuss word was until I was fifteen. I repeated something I overheard at a hockey game and never repeated it after how my momma reacted.” He laughed. “Goat soap is not meant to be tasty.”

I chuckled with him. God. I was becoming more and more enamored with this man each second I spent with him. We lay there, staring at one another, and words were not needed as we basked in the afterglow. His eyes twinkled, and I loved how open they were. I’d happily drown in him if it was sustainable.

“What about your family? I know a little about your dad because of Landon, but what about your mom?”

My throat went dry at the innocent question. I didn’t talk about my mom. Mostly because people knew her, or at least the image of herself she portrayed. But knowing Miller’s history, I’d wager he had no idea who she was. That knowledge was freeing. He wasn’t looking for a soundbite or a juicy secret. He just wanted to know me.

Had anyone outside of my brother and his partners taken the time or effort to do that? No. Miller was one of a kind.

That trust I had in him to take care of my body slowly expanded to my heart. I had two choices here—wall off like I usually did or let someone in.

I free-fell into his eyes and took a chance.

CHAPTER19

MILLER

This was dangerous territory,but I couldn’t help myself. I wanted to know Lathan on a deeper level, and I wanted him to know me, too. His blue eyes bore into me, and for once, I didn’t feel frozen by them but warmed. He licked his lips and swallowed once before speaking.

“I no longer have a relationship with my father. After what he pulled with Landon and Ava, I cut all contact with him. He tries to reach out when he needs something, but I have safeguards in place now to avoid any confrontations with him. He’s a ghost to me at this point.”

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