Page 4 of One Touch

“Gonna be an exciting season,” he said.

I grunted but didn’t elaborate. Bragging and gossiping wouldn’t win us games. Instead, I focused on the players returning and our first preseason games. We should beat them easily, but I wasn’t one to count my chickens before they hatched.

Several of the Ace’s staff greeted me as I entered the arena. I nodded in return and kept my focus on practice. The locker room was empty, which wasn’t surprising since I was early. I liked to get here before everyone else, so I had time to go through this part of my routine, undisturbed. I also needed to meet with our captain, Jack—or Viggy, as the team called him—and Coach Mack.

I wouldn’t admit it to anyone, but I was nervous about being alternate captain. Hockey was the only thing I cared about. The only thing that was mine. I couldn’t mess it up. Without it…

I couldn’t even fathom that thought. I’d be nothing.

Stuffing my bag into my locker, I headed to the weight room and started my rotations. A few teammates littered in halfway through. They nodded but didn’t interrupt me. I wasn’t chatty or chummy with them. I came to play. Not make friends. This wasn’t a play date. It was our job.

Thankfully, they respected me as a player and accepted my boundaries. Otherwise, I doubted I'd be the alternate captain. Besides, it wasn’t that I didn’t want to be friends with them; it just wasn’t possible. It wasn’t how my life worked anymore.

After my mother divorced my father, her political career began. First, she was mayor, then governor, and now she was a senator. With each position, the rules and expectations increased. The little freedom I had in college was wiped away the moment she became a senator.

Every interaction I had was scripted, and every person in my life was screened. The only safe place was hockey, and even that was becoming less and less. The only way to keep her out of it too was to ensure everything I did was flawless—no scandals, no fights, no gossip.

I’d learned early it was easier to insulate myself. If I didn’t interact with anyone off the ice, I didn’t have to worry about anything being used against me or my mom.

I had no need for relationships, anyway, so it wasn’t a hardship. People complicated things. It was simply easier this way.

By the time I finished, the room was full of loud hockey players. I wiped the sweat off my brow and chugged my water as I surveyed the room. Most of my teammates appeared to be in good shape, but a few had slacked off in the offseason. Taking a mental note, I’d be sure to mention it to Jack later.

Samson Murray, a defenseman and the team dad, caught up to me as I stepped out of the room.

“Hey, Silver. How was your summer?”

“Fine.”

He smiled, not deterred by my clipped answers. For this reason alone, he was the one guy on the team I tolerated talking to me.

“What do you think of the new guys?”

His statement stopped me in my tracks. “New guys?”

“Yeah, there’s the rookie forward, a goalie, and some wingers.”

A gong sounded in my ears, muting everything else as his words took root. How had I missed this? I was the alternate captain, for fuck’s sake! Yet, on day one, I was already screwing up. Shit. I was going to lose the one thing I had going for me. If I didn’t show my mother I was dedicated, she’d demand I quit. I knew she would. This was a campaign year, and she wanted me to be on the road with her. I’d spent all summer smiling, waving, and pretending to be the son she wanted.

But I wasn’t him. I couldn’t be perfect all the time.

My breaths sawed in and out, and I watched as Samson realized something was wrong. His hand gripped my shoulder, grounding me and stopping the spiraling. Sound returned, but it was slowed down and underwater.

“Lathan, you okay?”

Blinking rapidly, I curled my fingers tightly into fists until the bite of pain broke the chokehold anxiety had on me.

“Yeah. Sorry. I didn’t hydrate enough. I better grab a sports drink.”

“You sure, man?” Samson’s brow dipped, and I hated that look of concern.

I was the rock of the team. I was solid. I didn’t need his pity.

“Yep. Later.” I broke his grip and spun around in the opposite direction. I didn’t know where I was walking other than away from him. Turning a corner, I collided with a body and took us both to the floor. Lightning raced up my spine as I tried to capture my breath.

I hadn’t felt that since… I shut that down. I didn’t think aboutthat.

“What the fuck?” I growled and shoved the guy off me. “Watch where you’re going, asshole.” I knew I was being unreasonable. I’d run into him, but the panic had turned to anger, and it was easier to focus on.

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