Page 67 of Dahlia Made A List

Wyatt hadn’t called or texted in days. I’d sent him a message inviting him to dinner tonight. Explained the reason behind the gathering, so he’d know how important it was to me. But he hadn’t responded. Feeling close to desperate this morning, I’d called him, but it went right to voicemail.

He really was done with me. Fed up with my antics. Satisfied he’d done enough.

I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. He’d been pulling away and as much as I’d recognized the distance, I hadn’t wanted it to be true. Hoped we could at least be friends. He’d become the best friend I’d ever had. But not showing tonight kinda made denial impossible.

The ache in my chest twisted, pulling me into a sadness I couldn’t fight. I smiled as my friends celebrated my accomplishments, but inside, the starling hung her head, feathers dull and lifeless. I wanted to curl up in my bed for days and just wallow and wallow and wallow in all the could-have-beens. I wanted to reach out to him until he relented and said to my face that he didn’t want to be with me. That I was just too much. Not good enough.

I probably should have been angry. He’d bailed on what should have been an important night in my life. I’d set out with a list and I’d completed nearly all of it. I’d made the derby team, I’d conquered the panic attacks to learn to drive, I’d pushed myself into social settings and made friends.

And I knew more about myself than ever. I could trust myself. I could take on challenges and succeed. I could be real with people and they’d still want to keep me around.

I reined in my rioting emotions before I burst into another cryfest. Ms. Lester eyed me from her spot between Ms. Beck and Ms. Minerva and I quickly looked away before she spotted the shininess in my eyes.

Maia caught my gaze then, flashing me a knowing smile. I inhaled deeply, breathing in the fragrant herbs that coated the pork chops, the sugar sweetness of the potatoes.

“Did you make enough for seconds, Dahlia?” Cillian called from his spot between Vida’s mom and Laura.

The table laughed and I shook my head. “No, but I did bring some cheesecake for dessert.”

I dragged my thoughts from Wyatt and focused on the people in front of me. I passed the basket of rolls to Ang. As they made the rounds, Ms. Minerva pushed her chair back and stood.

She banged her fork against her water glass and we all quieted. “I know Dahlia’d rather I skip this part, but I’m of the mind it’s important to recognize milestones in one’s life. And this is one heck of a milestone, Dahlia Whitcombe. You are just about the most determined woman I’ve ever had the pleasure to know and it is our privilege to celebrate your accomplishments tonight.”

A chorus of “Here, here’s” echoed Minerva’s words and my eyes prickled with tears.

“When we started your list, not a one of us realized what a big task you’d set for yourself. Getting your driver’s license, earning a spot on the derby team, serving up this delicious meal for us to enjoy. We thank you for letting us share this moment with you, my girl. You make us proud.”

She dropped her fork and lifted a glass of red wine. “To Dahlia!”

The rest of the table echoed her cheer, glasses raised and clinking and the tears I’d been holding back slipped down my cheeks.

Maia leaned close, tipped her glass against mine. “To my friend Dahlia.”

“I know that driving test wouldn’t have been easy. Did you have that tiny little twig of a woman do the road test part? Big hair so’s to make her look like she was gonna tip over at any minute?” Ang looked at me to respond, but it was all I could do just to shake my head.

“Huh. Guess they got someone else out there now. When I took it two years ago, the woman about drove me to the edge of my nerves. Barking out ‘Left here!’ and ‘You have the right of way, why are you stopping?’” Ang shuddered. “Didn’t know if I was coming or going, I swear.”

Wine and conversation flowed and I lost myself in the joy of the moment. If my joy had a sharp, painful edge, I didn’t let it show. If Wyatt could dismiss me so easily, I needed to find the strength to do the same.

Chapter Twenty-Five

Wyatt

Isatinthecab of the Silverado on a curve in the long drive leading up to Grams’s house. Cars filled the circular drive in front. Lights filtered through the windows. I had the windows rolled up tight, but I imagined I’d hear the sound of laughter in the night, too.

A celebratory dinner, she’d said in her message. And another item to tick off her list.

I folded my arms over my chest and pushed into my seat back. A big, bright moon hung in the blue-black sky, shining a glow over the trees, over the truck. If she stepped out onto Grams’s porch and looked my way, she’d probably see me parked on the long drive like the little coward I was.

Not long after Dahlia’d left her message this morning, Grams had called. I’d let that one go to voicemail, too.

Dahlia’d sent a text about the dinner party and followed it up with the call this morning. Heart bigger than Sapphire Mountain. Reaching out to me even after I’d deserted her.

I’d meant to come tonight. To make up a little for my shitty behavior lately by celebrating with her and her friends. Maybe find a way to get us back to the friendship we’d had before I fucked it up at the yurt.

But I couldn’t even get my coward ass down the drive, much less inside the house.

I wanted to celebrate. I wanted to show her how proud, how impressed I was. An hour ago, I’d shaved, cleaned up the cut of my beard, and put on my nicest jeans and a new button down. As the afternoon passed, I’d found myself getting excited at the idea of seeing Dahlia again. Thought how I could phrase an apology for bailing the other night and steer us back to friends.

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