Page 99 of Stay for Me

I wanted to believe all the sweet and wonderful things my friends had said to me this afternoon.

I wanted to have hope, but it was slipping through my fingers . Right now, in this cabin, I was silently begging him to restore it.

So, I waited, drowning in despair. I waited for this cowboy to speak, and when he finally did, my heart nearly gave out.

“Breaking you was the worst thing I’ve ever fuckin’ done.” He paused, his own agony seeping from him now. “Out of all the things I’ve done—hurting you like that…” Mags’ mouth snapped shut, and he cut his eyes from me, looking over to the desk. I couldn’t look anywhere else. Even if he couldn’t look at me, my eyes refused to leave him. “I’m drowning. I’m always drowning. Never get a second to breathe, tolive, to experience the peace I came to Hallow Ranch to find. The only times I feel like I can is when you’re around. Got a light in you, beautiful, and that light is the closest thing to peace I’ve ever experienced.” His eyes were back on me, and I couldn’t breathe. “I don’t deserve you, your light, your beauty, Diana. Any of it. I don’t deserve to take care of you.”

His words hit me like a round of bullets, each one piercing the skin, leaving nothing but holes.

I don’t deserve you, your light, your beauty. Any of it. I don’t deserve to take care of you.

“I’m going to ask that question again, Mags,” I whispered, my hands shaking as the future hovered over my head, circling like a vulture, ready to feast on whatever was left of me.

You say my name and ‘please’ in the same fuckin’ sentence, I’ll give you anything you fuckin’ want.

His words from earlier echoed in my head as my next words came out on a broken plea. “I want the truth. Please, Mags, give me the truth.”

The cowboy looked tortured, but again, he remained silent.

I looked up to the ceiling, knowing what the answer was going to be, but I had to ask it anyway. The girls, plus Chase, had messed with my head, telling me things that couldn’t be true. Mags, despite his flaws, his trauma, his darkness, was a good man.

Good men don’t lie.

When our gazes met again, the question flowed out of my mouth like an overflowing stream. “Do you want me?”

I expected more silence, more agony, more heartbreak.

I didn’t get any of that.

His strong arms hung down at his sides, his boots firmly rooted in place as he rasped, “More than anything else in this world.”

My bottom lip began to tremble, my eyes stinging, proving to me my body would never run out of tears. “But?” I prompted thickly.

He looked away from me to the desk as devastation washed over him. Seconds ticked by, and for whatever reason, insanity or hope-filled delusion, I waited.

The tortured cowboy’s eyes sliced back to mine, and just as he was about to say something, his head snapped over to the door, his body on alert. Suddenly, he was moving. “Lie down,” he clipped, and a chill swept over the room.

I followed his gaze, a shiver sliding down my spine. “What is it?”

“For the love of fuck, Diana, just stay down,” he growled, moving to the door and reaching behind him for his pistol.

My eyes widened, and I did as he asked watching as his entire demeanor changed. Suddenly, I wasn’t looking at Mags, the cowboy. I was looking at Mags, the Marine. He moved fluidly to the window, pulling back the curtain and looking outside, gun in in hand, pointed at the door.

“Is it the bear?” I asked.

He dropped the curtain. “I wish,” he muttered underneath his breath, moving to the door.

There was a single pound before Mags yanked it open to reveal Denver.

Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no, no.

“Den? What’s wrong?” I asked, sitting up.

His gray eyes landed on me as he said, “Need to have a conversation with Mags, Diana.”

Mags was quiet, glaring at his boss and friend. “This can’t wait until morning, Kings? Had a hell of a day.”

“Haven’t we all?” Denver shot back, finally looking at his ranch hand. “A word.”