Page 124 of Stay for Me

“Am I yours?”

She nodded. “You’re mine, Mags. You’ll always be mine.”

Diana’s words hit me directly in the heart, pulling up a memory I’d long forgotten. Slowly, Diana and the cabin around me began to fade as I was sucked into a time I barely escaped.

Years ago. Three days post-discharge.

“Yousureyou’realright?”Gray asked from the driver’s seat.

I looked over to him, silently thanking the extended prescription of pain medication from the Corp. This was my first time being back in the States in over a year. I missed the birth of my son, stuck in a hospital in overseas, and now, he was nearly six months old.

“Mags?”

I blinked, and everything came back into focus. Grayson was turned towards me, his arm resting on the top of the steering wheel, his brow pinched in concern. “Yeah, I’m alright,” I finally answered, clearing my throat and shifting my left arm. The burning was dull, but I knew once this round of meds wore off, the pain would be back in full force.

Grayson’s eyes flicked up to the small house he’d parked in front of. “You sure you don’t need me to come in, help Ashley get you settled?”

I shook my head. “No, I need to do this on my own,” I said gruffly, slowly bending and grabbing my bag I’d settled between my legs at the airport.

“You need me, you call me. Yeah?”

His question was left unanswered as I looked to the house, the place meant to be my home. I didn’t know this place. To me, it was just a building, but I was hopeful that, someday, the value would change. Without another word, I opened the door and got out of his truck. I swung my bag over my right arm, and crossed the yard, noticing how fresh the cut was.

More guilt, on top of all the rest, settled on my shoulders as my gut twisted.

I was about to meet my son.

The thought echoed in my head as I made it to the porch, pulling out the same set of keys I’d had since I enlisted, the house key beside my car key, an eight ball hanging beside it. I looked over to the garage door, knowing all the work I would need to do on the Mustang. Ashley had always been too scared to drive it, and I didn’t expected her to do anything with it when I was gone. She already had enough on her plate.

Sucking in a quiet breath, I held the key in front of the lock, hearing Grayson’s truck pull away from the curb.

My eyes closed as I forced myself to whisper the same three sentences I’d been trying to believe since I woke up in the hospital.

“Your life in the Marines is over.”

“Your life with Ashley and your son starts now.”

“You will be a good husband and father to both of them.”

As soon as the last word was off the tip of my tongue, I pushed the key into the door and twisted. There was music playing softly throughout the house, the scent of lemons hitting my nose as I quietly stepped in and just as quietly closed the door behind me. I walked into the living room, my bandages underneath my loose shirt rubbing against my healthy skin. I ignored the irritation, focusing on the nerves knotting in my stomach as I rounded the corner, expecting to see Ashley.

No one.

My eyes scanned over the tidied space, from the folded blankets on the back of the couch to the baby toys neatly packed in a small blue basket in the corner by the TV. My focus lingered on the baby swing by the window, a ray of sun hitting it just right as my heart began to pound in my ears. I remained in place, revisiting the last time I’d seen my wife. She had been a little over two months pregnant then, but neither of us knew it. I stood with her in the middle of the living room, dressed in my uniform, my bags by the door. She was numb to it all, just as I was. Same job, same struggles, different day.

She hadn’t even shed a tear for me like she had before.

No, she’d been numb then.

I remembered brushing some of her hair back, tucking it behind her ear before kissing her forehead. I told her I’d call her when I got to base. She’d said okay. We didn’t even say ‘I love you.’

Things were going to be different now. For me. For her. For our little family. I was willing to do whatever it took to make her happy, even if that meant trying to fall in love with her all over again.

I moved into the kitchen, finding it spotless and empty. I shifted to the backyard, finding it mowed, the bushes along the back fence trimmed. More guilt hit me then, adding to the pile. She’d done a good job of taking care of our home while I was gone.

Now, it was my turn to take care of her.

Stifling a groan, I set my bag by the base of the stairs before climbing them quietly. They might be taking a nap, after all. On our last phone call, Ashley told me one of the nurses in the hospital told her mothers need to sleep when the baby sleeps. It was good advice, and I was happy to know she was taking it.

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