Page 116 of Stay for Me

“I understand,” he murmured. “I understand completely.”

“Don’t want to get sucked back in, Gray,” I said, my eyes on the rain now. “The pains are back. So are the echoes.”

He muttered something under his breath. “I can send Dominic to you.”

“No, that’s not—”

Fuck, how the hell was anyone supposed to talk about this?

You’ve been in therapy before, dipshit. Act like it.

“That’s not what, Mags?”

I dropped my head back, jaw tight, eyes closed. “Have you told Carrie?”

Gray, being the fuckin’ mind reader he was, instantly replied, “Yes. Not everything, because there’s some shit she can’t know.” He paused. “But she knows about the kidnapping and the torture I endured.”

My mouth felt dry suddenly, visions of that dark day flooding back.

“She also knows you’re the one who saved me,” he tacked on.

I set the coffee down on the table beside me and rubbed my hand over my face. “Carrie—she knows about—”

“Of course she does,” he said, confusion in his voice.

“Did she know when she met me?” I asked, leaning forward.

“Yeah, brother. Now, about Diana—”

“—I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing,” I clipped, more irritated at myself than anything.

“First things first, you need to catch me up, and then I can give you advice on how not to screw this up.”

Before I knew it, I was leaning back in the chair again, watching the rain and telling my best friend about every interaction I had with this woman. He listened intently, making comments when I fell silent. He didn’t judge. He didn’t scold. He didn’t warn. He just listened.

By the time I was done, my chest felt lighter, and the guilt I’d been feeling all but dissipated.

“I had a feeling you were in your head about her when you called me last,” Gray said after a moment.

“That was after I said goodbye to her,” I mumbled.

He chuckled. “It’s not that easy saying goodbye to the woman who’s in your head.”

She wasn’t just in my head, she was in the very essence of my being.

“Hardest thing I’ve ever done, Gray,” I whispered, staring at my boots now. “Never felt so much pain.”

“I get that too,” he muttered before clearing his throat. “So here’s my advice…”

I braced myself.

“Hold on to her with everything you got. I’m not saying it’s going to be all sunshine and rainbows, because it won’t be. Your demons are going to show themselves whether you like it or not.”

“I can’t let that happen,” I declared. “There’s so much she doesn’t know—”

“Doesn’t matter,” he argued. “When you love someone and they love you, you both get a front row seat to the good, the bad, and the fucking ugly of your souls. That’s what love is, Mags.” I swallowed, and my knee began to bounce. “Love isn’t a fully grown tree in bloom. Love is growth, down to the roots. Love weathers every season, and trust me, some seasons are going to be dark. If there’s anything loving Carrie has taught me, it’s this: there’s beauty in everyone’s darkness, and the only thing that can find that beauty is love.”

Beside me, the front door opened, and a second later, Diana appeared, my sheet wrapped around her, her hazel eyes flashing with worry.

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