Page 90 of Choosing You

“Yeah. And it was a lie. You saw how she treated me. She hated me. And now I know why. I just reminded her of what happened that night.”

“Listen to me.” He sounds angry again. “Your mother risked her life to have you. If she didn’t want you, she would’ve taken his money and had it taken care of like he told her to. Instead she hid out for nine months so she could have you. She wanted you more than she wanted anything. She just wanted to be a mother. And they took that away.”

“Who took it away? My father? Who is he? What do you know about him?”

“Nothing.”

“She would’ve told you, Frank. When she told you what happened, she would’ve said his name.”

He’s coughing again. “I need some water. I’ll be right back.”

A giant lump has lodged in my throat and immense pressure is building behind my eyes as I force myself not to cry. Frank has just admitted that he’s lied to me all these years. All those times I ran to his house, asking him to explain why she was that way, he could’ve told me. But all he did was listen, never saying a word. And he still isn’t explaining it now. If anything, he’s making me more confused.

He’s gone so long I’m sure he’s not coming back. Then I hear the phone pick up again. “Okay, I’m here. What else do you need to know?” He sounds calmer now, but I can tell he’s had enough. He doesn’t want to talk about this anymore.

“I want to know everything. I want to know who my father is. I want to know what else you know about my mom.”

Frank takes a deep breath, then coughs again as he lets it out. “The answers won’t make anything better, Jade. You have a good life, now. You’re moving on. There’s no reason to dig up the past.”

Dig up the past. His words remind me of Garret’s earlier words . . .you don’t want to go digging up the past. It’s dangerous.

“What are you not telling me? Am I in danger?”

“If you keep searching for answers,” he hesitates, “then yes. You could be in danger.”

His words and the way he says them cause a cold chill to rush up and down my spine.

“Then why won’t you just answer me so I don’t have to go searching? Talk to me, Frank. I don’t like the way you’re acting all cryptic like you know stuff but won’t tell me. It’s not fair and it’s freaking me out. I have a right to know the truth about my mother. She wouldn’t have wrote this letter if she didn’t want me to know these things.”

“I don’t know why she wrote that letter. It was careless of her. She should’ve known better. If someone had found—” He stops suddenly.

“Found what?”

“Did you hear that?” Frank’s voice turns frantic.

“Hear what?”

“That clicking noise on the phone just now.”

“No, I didn’t hear anything. Now what were you saying?”

He pauses, listening for whatever clicking noise he thinks he hears.

“Never mind. I want you listen to me. Leave this thing with your mother alone. Just let it be. Don’t go searching for answers. They won’t help you.”

“Why does everyone keep saying that?”

“What do you mean by everyone? Did you tell someone about this?”

“I told Garret. Why?”

“Dammit, Jade! Why would you do that?” Frank scolds me as if I should’ve somehow known not to tell anyone. “You are not to talk about this with him or anyone else. Do you understand?”

“No! I don’t understand! You’re not telling me anything and it’s really pissing me off!” I yell it at him, then immediately feel bad for doing so. Even though I’m furious with the way he’s acting, I feel like I can’t get mad at him. I always feel that way with him. Like I can’t possibly get mad at someone who has done so much for me.

“I’m sorry, but you need to trust me on this. You need to let this go.”

We both get quiet and I know if I stay on the phone a second longer I’ll say something I’ll regret.

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