Page 89 of Choosing You

“So what do you think?” I feel a giant knot forming in my stomach when he doesn’t answer. “Why aren’t you saying anything?”

The silence continues. I wonder if he passed out, but then I hear him breathing hard again.

“Frank, did you know about any of this?”

After another long uncomfortable silence, he finally speaks. “Yes, Jade. I knew about all of it.”

“What?” I slump down on the floor, leaning my back against the wall, the letter still in my hand. “What do you mean?”

“Your mother and I were friends back then.”

“I know you were friends, but in this letter she said she didn’t tell anyone. Well, she told the police and the hospital workers, but they didn’t believe her.” I quickly scan the letter again. “She said the only other people she told were her parents and a counselor and—” I find the section and read it again. “And a reporter from the newspaper.” It finally hits me. “Were you the reporter?”

“I was her friend first, Jade. That’s why she told me. But yes, I was the reporter. I was working at the newspaper covering the caucus. Your mother was hoping I could convince my editor to do a story on what happened and maybe get the guy to confess. But I couldn’t do it. There was no evidence. I never told anyone your mother’s story. Even after all these years.”

“But everyone who knew either kept quiet or was . . .” I flip the letter over.

“Killed.” His tone is cold. It doesn’t even sound like Frank.

The phone is silent until I’m able to speak again.

“So my grandparents—it wasn’t an accident?”

“No. This man knew your grandparents wouldn’t keep his secret. Plus their deaths were a warning for your mother to keep quiet.”

“Why didn’t he just kill her? I don’t understand.”

“I don’t either. I’ve never understood that. And luckily he never found out that she told me. If he had, I probably wouldn’t be here right now.”

“You’re scaring me, Frank. What really happened back then? And why didn’t you ever say anything to me?” My hands are now shaking and I drop the letter on the floor.

“I didn’t think your mother would ever tell you about this. If I’d known that’s what she wrote in that letter, I never would’ve—” He stops.

“Never would’ve what? Let me see it?” I get up from the floor, my anger building again. “Why would you hide something like that from me?”

“It’s the past, Jade. And you need to leave it there.” His tone is stern and somewhat threatening.

“What is wrong with you? Why are you acting like this? Tell me what happened. My mom was crazy so half of the stuff in this letter probably isn’t even true, right?”

“It’s all true. And your mother wasn’t crazy when she wrote that. She didn’t even drink back then. She was as normal as you and me.”

CHAPTERTWENTY-FOUR

“Then what happened to her?How did she become the person I grew up with? Was it because of what he did to her? Or because they called her a liar and threatened her if she told the truth? Because I kind of understand that. It almost makes sense why she acted that way. She just couldn’t deal with it.”

“That wasn’t it. Your mother was one of the strongest women I’ve ever met, at least she was back then.”

“If that were true, then why did she start taking those pills and drinking?”

“Just let it go. It’s over now. Your mother is gone. There’s no need to dredge up what happened nearly 20 years ago.”

“Frank, how can you say that? You know I’ve struggled my whole life trying to figure out why she was that way and if I would someday—” I don’t have to say it.

“You won’t turn out like her, Jade. What made her that way wasn’t her fault. There were bigger forces at work. She couldn’t help what happened.”

I take a moment to try to figure out what he means. “Nothing you’re saying makes any sense. I don’t even know what you’re trying to tell me.”

“Honey, I know you’ve always felt like your mother didn’t care about you or didn’t want you, but nothing could be further from the truth. I’ve told you that before many times.”

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