Page 81 of Choosing You

As we lie there, I realize that I’ve never felt this close to another person, not just in the physical sense but in every way. And that scares me. Just the idea of Garret being with Ava sent me over the edge. I lost control. That’s why I keep people far away. Caring about someone the way I care about Garret screws with my judgment. I no longer think rationally. But I’m not sure what to do about it.

* * *

“Hey.”I hear Garret’s voice and open my eyes to see him lying there facing me. “Did you get some sleep?”

Light is filtering through the curtains. “What time is it?”

“It’s 9. You can sleep some more if you want. I’m going to take a shower. I just wanted to let you know in case you woke up and I wasn’t here.”

I sit up on my elbows. “Why would I care if you weren’t here?”

He kisses my cheek. “Because you’d miss me. That’s why.”

I smile and turn away from him. “I probably wouldn’t have even noticed you were gone.”

He turns me back toward him. “You’d notice. You’d at least wonder where your portable heater went. Don’t think I didn’t know you were just using me for my body last night.”

“Damn, you’re on to me. But it worked. I stopped shivering. I’m actually kind of hot now.” I kick the blanket off and shove the giant sleeves of his sweatshirt up. They fall right back down.

“You look ridiculous in my clothes.” He starts feeling for my waist. “I can’t even find you in there.”

“I like these sweats. They’re really soft. I think I might keep them.”

“No way! Those are my favorite.”

“Then I’m definitely keeping them. You can come visit them downstairs.”

“Sorry, but you’re not getting them. Besides, they’re gray. They’re not even your color.”

“Yeah, that’s true. All right, you can have them back.”

He smiles. “That was easy. Guess you’re not much of a fighter first thing in the morning. I’ll have to remember that.” He gets up. “I’ll only be a few minutes. Don’t go anywhere.”

While he’s in the bathroom I stare up at the blue lights hanging from his ceiling. I just want to stay in his room all day, sleeping in his warm bed and comfy sweats. But I can’t. I have to call Frank and deal with what was in that letter. Or maybe I should pretend I never read it. I could rip it up or burn it, act like it never existed.

I spot the remote on the floor and reach down to get it. I turn the TV on.

“. . . live from Des Moines, Iowa, today where we’ll be interviewing local residents about their feelings toward the current presidential hopefuls visiting their state.” A white-haired old man is speaking. He’s standing downtown Des Moines bundled up in a long coat and scarf, looking like he’s freezing to death. Poor guy. Why do they make these reporters stand outside like that? Last time I talked to Frank he’d said it was like winter already in Iowa and that they’d already had a snowstorm.

“What are you watching?” Garret comes back, bare-chested and wearing only a towel on the bottom half. He glances over at the TV. “Do you follow politics?”

“No. I hate politics. I was only watching because they’re in Des Moines. It’s caucus time, the only time Iowa makes the news.”

He grabs some clothes from his drawer. “My dad is obsessed with politics. He spends a fortune supporting those campaigns. I don’t even want to know what he’s getting in return.”

“What do you mean?”

“That political shit is all bribes and corruption. And my dad’s there waiting with an open bank account along with every other person with money.” Garret turns to the TV where four men are lined up on a stage. “See that guy right there?” He points at a middle aged guy with dark, slicked back hair and a phony grin on his face. “My dad’s having a campaign fundraiser for him at the house in a few weeks.”

“I don’t know anything about the guy but he looks like a liar with that fake smile and those overly white teeth. Well, I guess they all do.”

Garret puts a t-shirt on, then stands there holding the towel at his waist. “This is coming off so you might want to turn around.”

“I’m watching TV. I’m not even looking. And even if I saw something, it’s not like I’d care.”

“Okay.” The towel drops and I quickly turn the other way. He laughs. “I knew you wouldn’t look.” I hear him pull his jeans on. “All right, I’m done.”

I look back again and he’s fully dressed. He comes over and sits on the bed. “What do you want to do? Sleep some more? Get some breakfast?” He pauses. “Or do you want to tell me what happened last night? Because I think we should talk about it.”

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