Page 45 of Choosing You

“But that doesn’t make sense. You’re mad at me because I didn’t tell you about my family, but you didn’t wantmeto know anything aboutyour family.”

“Because my family consisted of my mom. And she was crazy and then she killed herself. So, yeah, I really don’t want people knowing about my past. But you have no excuse. There’s no reason for you to hide the fact that you’re a Kensington.”

“Are you kidding? There’s a million reasons why I’d want to hide that from someone.” He lightly rubs the top of my hand with his thumb. That tiny movement makes my heart beat faster again. “I really don’t know that much about your past, Jade. My dad told me that your mom had problems with alcohol and drugs. That’s it.”

“There’s not much else to tell.”

“What about your father? Do you ever see him?”

“I’m the product of a one night stand. He left that night and never came back.” As I say it I realize that’s the first time I’ve ever said that to anyone. I used to tell people at school that my parents were divorced and my dad lived overseas. “So what other stuff do I need to know about your family? Do they really have all these dark secrets?”

He lets go of my hand and sits back. “Yes. But I can’t tell you what those are. I’m sure I don’t even know half of them.”

“Well, what did you mean when you said they had rules? What are the rules?”

“In families like mine, it’s all about appearances and connections and being seen with the right people.” He lies down on the blanket and stares up into the tree as the filtered light shines through. “I can’t believe I’m telling you this, but—I’ve never had a real friend.”

“What do you mean?” I lie down next to him, propped up on my elbow.

“My dad’s picked my friends for as long as I can remember. Like Blake. I hate the guy but his dad is Connecticut’s attorney general and has a lot of connections that could be useful to my family or the company.”

“So your dad’s forcing you to be friends with that jerk?”

“That’s how it works. Sometimes you get lucky and actually like the person. I like Decker, even though my dad made us be friends back in ninth grade.”

“You’re saying that your dad has picked every one of your friends?”

“Yes, and that’s why I didn’t want my family to know that we’re friends. Well, I guess that’s still up in the air until you decide. But I didn’t want them interfering if we did become friends. Or more than friends.”

“What are you saying? You can’t pick your dates either?”

He rolls on his side so we’re face to face. “No. That’s an even a bigger deal than the friends thing. I go to a lot of big events and I end up in photos in the society pages of newspapers or online gossip sites. That means I have to show up with the right girl. And that girl is picked for me. I never get to choose. Like today I have to take Courtney to this party and pretend she’s my girlfriend. I don’t even like Courtney as a friend, but we have to put on this show for the cameras.”

“So you’ve never been on a real date with someone you actually chose? You’ve never had a real girlfriend?”

“I’ve been on real dates and I’ve had real girlfriends. The fake girlfriend thing is mainly for when I’m at a public event, like a charity function or a big social function, like this party I’m going to later. Basically any place that photographers might show up. But still, when I’m dating someone for real I try to hide it, especially from my dad.”

“Is this just something your family does or do other people do this?”

“Everyone at my prep school had a fake girlfriend or fake boyfriend. It’s just something wealthy families do. It’s stupid, I know. But it’s all about image—who you’re seen with and how it will benefit the family. So we all go along with it and try to secretly date other people on the side.”

“Did your dad ever find out you were dating someone he didn’t pick?”

“Yes, but in high school I dated girls at my school so my dad didn’t say anything because they all came from rich and powerful families. If I screwed up and someone got a photo of me with one of those girls, it wouldn’t be the end of the world. But he’d never let me take one of them to a public event. I always had to show up with the girl who was picked for me. I still do, which is why I’m stuck with Courtney today.”

“Are you making this up?”

“Why would I make this up? I shouldn’t even be telling you this. This is one of those secrets that’s never supposed to get out. Don’t tell anyone this, by the way. I’m serious. I’m only telling you this because I feel like I owe you the truth.”

The wind blows and strands of my hair fall onto my face. He reaches over and brushes them behind my ear. “I want you to trust me, Jade. I know that won’t happen overnight but if you give me a chance, I want to try to earn it back.”

“So what are you proposing?”

“Let’s just hang out like we did before and get to know each other. Hopefully you’ll see that I’m not just a name. And that I really didn’t mean to hurt you by not telling you the truth.”

I’m quiet as I pretend to consider his offer. But I don’t need to consider it because it’s exactly what I want. I want to move past this and spend time with him again.

“If I agree to this, are you gonna make me watch one of those cartoon movies you love so much?” I smile at him.

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