Page 161 of Choosing You

My mind snaps back to reality. “This day has been everything I could’ve ever wanted and more. It’s been perfect. Andyou’vebeen perfect.”

“So what’s the problem?”

“It never lasts. Whenever good stuff happens, something ten times worse happens later.”

He brings me in for a hug. “Nothing bad is going to happen. So stop thinking that way and just be happy.”

I wish it were true, but I know it’s not. I’ve had too much experience that says otherwise. It’s just like my mom said. The good stuff is always followed by the bad. That’s why I try to never let myself get too happy. It just makes the bad stuff that follows that much worse.

But it’s too late with Garret. I’ve let myself go beyond happy with him. And now I’m afraid of what’s to come. It makes me wonder if Garret’s dad was just playing some kind of mind game with us. Making us think we can be together only to break us apart again.

Dammit! How did I get to this place? This place where I’m completely in love with a boy I’ll never be allowed to have. I should know better. I should know that it’s just a matter of time before his dad or someone else takes him away from me.

We walk back, the snow still falling above us. I keep quiet until we’re back at the start of the trail.

“Thanks for letting me come over for Thanksgiving, Garret.”

“You don’t have to thank me. I practically forced you to come. And I loved having Thanksgiving with you.” He squeezes my hand. “We’re going to do this again next year. And the year after that. It’ll be another one of our traditions.”

I break my hand away from his and walk faster toward the house. A lump is forming in my throat and my eyes are tearing up. I want that tradition more than anything. And I wanthimmore than anything. And the feelings I have when I’m with him. But I know I’m not allowed to have any of it. Something will ruin it like it always does. Nothing good lasts.

The tears are now starting to stream down my cheek. I walk faster so Garret won’t see them.

“Why are you walking so fast?” He races to catch up, then sees my silent tears. “Jade, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?”

“I’m not.” I wipe my face as I walk even faster toward the house. “I should really get back to the dorms. I have some reading to catch up on. Could you drive me back?”

“No, I’m not driving you back. You’re here until Sunday.” He grabs my coat, forcing me to stop. “What the hell just happened here? We were having this great walk in the woods with the snow and now you want to go back to the dorms?”

I try to turn away from him but he won’t let me. “Talk to me, Jade. What’s going on?” He hesitates. “Did you hear her again?”

“Yes.” My tears slow. “I heard her telling me that good things never last. She used to say it all the time. And she’s right, Garret. This isn’t going to last. You. What we have together. It’s all going to end.”

“It will only end if you make it end.”

“It won’t be me. It’ll be someone else. Your dad. Or Katherine. Blake. Someone will take this away from me. They’ll takeyouaway from me.”

“That’s not gonna happen. We’ve already been through this a hundred times. I can handle my dad. I can handle Katherine.” He wipes the remaining tears from my face. “I’m not going anywhere. You’re stuck with me.”

The way he says it somehow makes me smile. “For how long?”

“For as long as you’ll have me.” He smiles back. “So if anyone should be worried about this not lasting, it should be me.”

Deep down, I know this won’t last. How could it? We’re only 19. But this thing between Garret and me just started and I’m not ready for it to end. So why do I have this feeling that it will?

“Let’s go inside,” he says. “It’s getting really cold out here.”

I don’t move but instead just look at him, feeling like he’s already gone. What is wrong with me? He’s not gone. He’s standing right here in front of me, holding his hand out for me. Nothing’s changed. He’s still my boyfriend. And my friend. The best friend I’ve ever had. I panic, remembering how his dad tried to take our friendship away, too.

“Promise me that if we break up you’ll still talk to me. That you’ll still be my friend.”

“We’re not breaking up, Jade.”

“Just promise me.”

“Fine. I promise. But we’re not breaking up.” He takes my hand and we walk back to the house.

“Are you ready for dinner?” he asks when we get inside. He hangs our coats up by the back door.

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