Page 154 of Choosing You

“I guess you’re right.” He glances over at me. “So what do you think? Three kids?”

The question stops me again. “Real funny, Garret. I don’t think I’m the woman to ask. You need to wait and see who you’re with in 10 or 15 years and ask her.”

“I’m looking at who I’ll be with in 10 or 15 years.” After he says it he starts walking again.

I follow him. “You don’t know what’s going to happen that far off.”

“No. But I know that I want to still be with you. Are you planning on dumping me before then? Finding someone else?”

I can’t imagine being with anyone else. But I also can’t imagine him sticking around that long.

“I’m sure you’ll be tired of me in a year and want to date someone else.” There I go again. Saying something that ruins this great moment we’re having. Between last night and this morning, he’s made it perfectly clear that he wants to be with me and then I say something that invalidates it all.

“Why do you say shit like that?” He stops and spins me around to face him, keeping his hands on my shoulders. “I told you I love you. And I meant it. I’ve never said that to a girl. I want you in my life, Jade. Not just for a year or two. For longer than that. A lot longer. But maybe you don’t feel the same way.”

“No. It’s not that. I just . . . I just don’t know why you’d want that. Me. I don’t understand it.”

“You don’t have to understand it. I love you. That’s all you need to know.”

I begin walking again, looking at the houses on each side of the street, noticing how quiet the town is and how peaceful it seems.

I notice that Garret is no longer beside me. I turn back and see him still standing there. “What are you doing? Aren’t you coming?”

“What do you think of this one?” He’s pointing to the house next to him; a white two-story with black shutters.

“It’s nice, I guess.”

“You don’t like it. Okay, we’ll keep looking.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I was trying to find us a house. You like this neighborhood, right?”

“We’re not looking for houses, Garret. We’re 19. So stop it. You’re freaking me out.”

He catches up to me. “That’s why I said it. It’s funny to watch you get so freaked out by the idea of a future with me.” He pauses. “Well, I guess it’s not that funny.”

“I didn’t mean it that way. I’m not freaked out. I’m just not ready to think about it yet. I just told you that I love you and that was a huge step for me. I never thought I would say that to someone. I have to get used to that before I think about where we go next.”

“So you’d consider a future with me?”

“Of course I would.”

Truthfully, I want that more than ever. But every time I want something really bad, I don’t get it. It doesn’t work out and I’m left disappointed. But if I lose Garret, I’ll be more than disappointed. Losing him will hurt. A lot. So I’m not ready to go there yet. I’m not ready to consider a future with him.

“We should head back. By the time we drive to your house, my stuff will be ready to pick up.”

“Thanks for suggesting this, Jade. It was good to see everything again. It’s just like I remembered.”

When we get back to his house, my laundry is stacked in white boxes, waiting to be picked up.

“They even folded everything,” I say, looking in one of the boxes. “I should go say thank you to whoever did this. That was a lot of work.” I look in another box. “Check out my sheets. There’s no wrinkles. They ironed my sheets, Garret!”

He’s laughing at me. “Yeah. I know. I grew up here, remember? My sheets were always ironed.”

We bring the boxes to the car, then drive back to campus. We see Harper as we’re carrying the boxes to my room.

“Jade, I just heard about the break-in. Are you okay?”

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