Page 145 of Choosing You

He lets me go and takes a seat on the bed. “I shouldn’t have said it. It’s too soon, isn’t it? It’s just that I’ve been wanting to tell you that and, I don’t know, it seemed like the right time. But I guess it wasn’t.” His forearms rest on his knees as he stares down at the floor.

I finally wake up and realize I need to respond with more than a stupid and meaningless thank you. I go and sit next to him. “I’m happy you said it. I’m just surprised. That’s all. Nobody’s ever said that to me.”

Garret’s quiet, his eyes still on the floor.

“I don’t mean other guys. I mean nobody. Not even my mom. I’m not even sure I know what those words mean.”

He sits up and turns to face me. “I think everyone has their own meaning for those words.”

“Then how do you know you’re in love?” I feel like a child for asking but I really don’t know. “How do you know you love me and not just like me?”

“Because it’s different. I’ve liked other girls, but I’ve never felt like I do now with anyone but you. Being with you. . . you’ve made me feel something I haven’t felt since my mom was alive. It’s almost like I’m me again instead of the person I became after she left.” He looks down at the floor. “The past few years I’ve pretty much spent drinking and partying. I didn’t care about school. I didn’t really care about anything. But then I met you and I didn’t want to be that person anymore.”

I listen, surprised that I’ve affected him this way.

He looks at me again and takes my hand, gently rubbing the top of it with his thumb. “I think about you all the time, Jade. I want to be with you more than I’ve wanted to be with anyone. I want to keep you safe and make you happy and make sure you never feel alone.” He pauses. “Anyway, that’s what those words mean. At least to me.”

We sit in silence as I take a moment to think about what he just said. And suddenly it all makes sense. I finally understand why I feel like this. Why I’ve felt this way for a while now.

“Then I guess—”

He looks at me to continue.

“I love you, too, Garret.”

A huge smile forms across his face. Even his eyes are smiling. He stands up, pulling me up and into his arms.

“Thank you,” he says in a tone that is not at all serious.

“That’s a horrible response, you know.”

He laughs. “Yeah. I know.” He kisses me and it almost seems different now that we’ve said this to each other. It’s no longer just a kiss with some guy. It’s a kiss with someone I love. It has meaning.

I unbutton his dress shirt and run my hand along his chest. He takes the shirt off and tosses it on the floor. Then I undo his pants, leaving him in his black boxer briefs.

Now that I’m not worried about tonight leading to sex, I relax. I reach up and let my hair escape from the elastic and pins that were holding it up. Garret unzips the back of my dress, then comes around to the front and kisses me as he slides the sleeves off. I step out of the dress and we stumble to the bed, our lips not parting.

He breaks from the kiss and takes a moment to look at me as I lie there in my black lace bra and panties. I’m a little nervous because I haven’t been this exposed with him yet.

“You’re so damn beautiful, Jade.”

This time I don’t scold him for saying it. I think I’m starting to believe him now. Maybe Iambeautiful, at least in his eyes, which is all that really matters to me.

His hand skims my stomach, then moves along the hem of my bikinis, making the entire area beneath it hot and aching for more. And I’m ready to do more with him. A lot more. But not everything. Tonight doesn’t seem like the night. We took a big step with those three words. I need time to digest that before moving on to the next big step in our relationship.

We spend the rest of the night doing everything but sex, then fall asleep wrapped in each other’s arms.

* * *

Sunday morning,I wake up to find Garret standing by the window checking his cell phone.

“Any messages?” I ask him.

“You’re up.” He gets back in bed with me.

“Did your dad call?” I don’t want to talk about his dad, but I need to know if he’ll be knocking down the door any minute now to yell at us.

“No messages. And stop worrying about him. If he shows up here, I’ll get rid of him.” He turns on his side, facing me. He’s wearing this huge grin, just like last night. “I love you, Jade.”

---