Page 123 of Choosing You

And yet my stupid heart skips a stupid beat when that stupid boy tosses out the idea that someday he might marry me.

CHAPTERTHIRTY-FOUR

“What doyou want to do now?” I ask when we’re done with dinner. Garret’s already paid the check and the small restaurant is packed with people waiting for our table.

Garret checks his watch. “It’s only 9. Do you want to see a movie? Or we could get dessert somewhere.”

“I’m stuffed, so no on the dessert. And I don’t really want to see any of the movies that are out. You want to just head back?”

“Not really, but I don’t know what else to do around here.”

I’m sure Garret’s thinking we could stop at a party, but I make a real effort to avoid parties. The last party I went to was a total disaster. I ended up drinking for the first time ever and it totally freaked me out. I felt like I had no control over what I was doing. And the scary thing is that part of me liked that. I actually liked the feeling of giving up control for once. Letting my mind rest while the alcohol took over. I’m sure that’s what got my mother started down the path of becoming an alcoholic. And that’s why I told myself I’d never do it again.

Garret always acts like he’s okay with us not going to parties, but I don’t believe him. This is college for crying out loud. Normal people would be at a party on Saturday night. As much as I remind him of this, he continues to insist that the parties don’t matter to him.

When we leave the restaurant, we walk out into a flurry of white flakes.

“It’s snowing!” I gaze up at it and twirl around with my arms out. I quickly realize how stupid I must look. But I really like snow and the first snow of the year is the best one ever.

Garret watches me. I can’t tell what he’s thinking, but I assume he thinks I’ve lost my mind.

I put my arms down and quit twirling. “Sorry. I get a little excited by snow. It’s dorky, I know. We can go now.”

I start to walk to the car but he catches my waist and draws me into him. He leans down and kisses me. It’s a gentle, sweet kiss that makes me all warm inside. I feel the snowflakes land on my cheeks and peek my eyes open to see them falling. Big, white flakes. I close my eyes again as we continue to kiss.

We hear some people leaving the restaurant and we slowly break apart.

“What was that for?” It’s a dumb question, but I tend to ask dumb questions when I’m not sure what to say.

“I just had to kiss you. I couldn’t help myself.” He smiles, not letting me go. “Your reaction when you saw the snow. I’ve never seen anyone get so excited about snow.”

“Yeah, I’m kind of weird that way. Most people hate snow. But I think there’s something amazing about it.” I stare up at the sky, watching the flakes gently fall. “I mean, each snowflake is so perfect. And each one is different.”

Garret’s watching me again. I look down, feeling self-conscious. “Well, anyway, we should go.”

He nudges my chin up with his hand. “I don’t know how you do it, Jade, but you keep making me like you more.”

“I like you, too.” I say it in a just-friends type of way, but I like him so much more than that. And that scares the shit out of me. I can’t like someone this much.

He walks me to the car, opening my door and closing it once I’m in. On the drive back, the snow falls even harder. Back at campus, at least a couple inches have accumulated on the ground. I get out of the car and attempt to form a snowball, but the snow is too light and fluffy.

We go inside the dorm, stopping at my room. “I’d invite you in but it’s our first date and I don’t want you to think poorly of me.”

He leans against the door. “Are you really sending me home already?” He smiles. “You know, you could come up tomyroom. I have no problem inviting you up there, even if youdothink poorly of me.”

“What would we do up there?” I ask innocently.

“Whatever you want.” His tone isn’t at all flirtatious, so I can’t tell what he means.

“I guess we could watch TV.”

I wait for him to move, but he doesn’t. “Do you want to bring anything?”

I’m confused, but then remember that we recently started a new tradition in which I sleep in his room on Saturday nights.

“Um, no, I don’t think I need anything,” I answer just to see his reaction.

His eyebrows raise. “Are you sure?”

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