Page 101 of Choosing You

My face must show how upset I am because Harper comes over and attempts to hug me in the chair.

“Jade, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know all this was going on. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“There’s nothing you can do about it, so why bother talking about it?”

“Because I’m your friend. And friends talk about stuff. Even if I can’t do anything about it, I can listen. You can’t keep something like this to yourself. If it were me, I’d be telling everyone. But I’m kind of a talker.”

“Don’t tell anyone about this. This is just between you and me. His dad would kill me if he knew I told you.”

“His dad can go to hell.” She goes and sits on the bed again. “Stop worrying about him. And stop letting him control everything. If you want to see Garret, you’ll see him. End of story.”

“The Kensingtons are paying for my college. If I lose my scholarship I’ll have to drop out of school and go back to Iowa. I can’t piss them off.”

“Sounds like you already did. And you’re still here.”

“Even if they let me keep my scholarship, I won’t be able to see Garret anymore. We never should’ve started something together.”

“Jade, do you really want to let his dad win? Because I’ve always seen you as someone who doesn’t back down. You seem to go after what you want. But maybe I was wrong.”

Her reverse psychology technique is so obvious I almost laugh. But I know she’s just trying to help. She tries again with a different approach.

“Do you really want to give up on Garret? Never talk to him again? Never have one of those movie marathons you guys do? Never go to that pancake world or wherever you guys go every Sunday?”

That approach works. It brings up images of Garret and me doing all the things we love to do together. I don’t want those things to end. I don’t want Garret to go away.

“I don’t know what to do, Harper. I’ve never dealt with anything like this before. I don’t understand how these people work.”

“Give it some time. Let his dad cool off. Maybe he was just in a bad mood today.”

“He won’t cool off. You should’ve seen him this morning when he caught me in Garret’s room. He was so pissed. He’ll probably make Garret move back home so we’re a safe distance from each other.”

She comes over and hugs me again. “We’ll work this out, okay? Garret makes you way too happy. I’m not letting his dad ruin that.”

Makes me happy? Is it that obvious? As much as I try to hide how much I like Garret, apparently I’m not very good at it.

“Harper, you came in here for us to talk about you and all we did was talk about me. Now tell me what happened last night.”

“I don’t want to. Actually I don’t feel so bad anymore. The more I think about it, Cole was kind of an ass. Okay, he was a total ass. I lied earlier. There was nothing between us other than pure physical attraction. I just didn’t want to admit it because it makes me sound like a slut, which I’m not. He’s only the third guy I’ve slept with.”

Third guy? She acts like three isn’t very many, but to me it is. I’ve only slept with one guy and we only did it one time. I haven’t told Harper this because I never talk to people about that type of stuff. I’m sure she assumes I have more experience.

“God, I’m a total mess,” she says as she fixes her ponytail in the mirror. “I’ll go clean up and then let’s go out for breakfast. We can go to that pancake place you like.”

“I don’t want to go there. But we can go somewhere else.” I’m not ready to go to Al’s Pancake House without Garret. It would just make me miss him more.

“Then figure out where you want to go. I need to shower. Just come down to my room when you’re ready.”

While she’s gone I think about what she said about Garret. How we could still be together despite his father’s orders. I wish it were true but I know it’s not. Garret lives in a different world than me. Our relationship was never meant to be. We both knew that from the start and yet something kept pulling us together.

“You can’t count on people, Jade. They’ll only let you down.”I hear my dead mother’s words in my head. The words she repeated over and over when I was growing up are true. I never wanted to believe those words because believing them meant I’d always be alone.

For just a brief moment, I felt what it’s like to not be alone. To be able to share your darkest secrets with someone. To be able to trust that someone with your heart. But the feeling didn’t last. I was stupid to think it would.

Now Garret is gone, at a time when I need him more than ever. The fact that I admit I need anyone proves the huge effect Garret has had on me. And the fact that he’s changed me these past few months really pisses me off. I used to be fine with being alone. I was proud of myself for being fiercely independent. Now here I am, wishing he was with me, telling me everything would be okay. Not just with his dad but with that horrible phone call.

The man on the phone knew about the letter my mom wrote. How did he know? Who is he? Did he know my mom?

I don’t know what to do. Do I just ignore the phone call? Pretend it never happened? I can’t tell Harper about it. Only Frank and Garret know about the letter and I don’t want to tell Frank about the call. If I did, it would stress him out and stress makes his MS worse. I’ve already caused him enough stress by making him tell me the truth about my mom.

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