Page 92 of The Jerk in Apartment 1B

Is he really asking me what condoms to get for whatever girl he’ll be sleeping with later?

I turn back to the shelf. “Just pick one, okay?”

“Hey, I’m just kidding around. You don’t have to get angry.”

“I’m busy. I can’t talk.”

“Trina!” Rose yells from the register. I look up and see her pointing to the back of the store. Frank is there with Wally. And they’re heading this way!

I turn to Scott. “I need you to do something for me.”

“What?”

“I need you to be my boyfriend.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Frank is trying to set me up with Wally. Like right now.”

Scott looks back and sees them. “That’s Wally?”

“Yes!” I grab Scott’s arm. “Please. I’m begging you. Pretend to be my boyfriend.”

“I don’t know, Trina. This is a lot to ask.” He’s smiling. He thinks this is funny. “Frank’s a friend. I really shouldn’t lie to him.”

“Don’t think of it as a lie. Think of it as an extension of the truth. Frank already knows we went on a date. The next step would be that you’re my boyfriend. So it’s really not a lie.” I glance behind him and see Frank coming toward us. “They’re almost here.” I yank the box of condoms from Scott’s hand and toss it on the floor. “Hey, Frank.” I smile at him.

He smiles back. “Trina, I wanted to introduce you to someone. This is my grandson, Wally.”

“Hi.” Wally comes up to me and shakes my hand. His palm is wet. So is his face. He’s dripping sweat. “My grandpa told me all about you.” He smiles and I see something green wedged between his teeth. “He said you’re really good at your job.”

“She sure is,” Frank proudly says.

“I’d have to agree,” Scott says, putting his arm around me. “She’s done a great job organizing my storage room.”

Wally picks up the box of condoms I threw on the floor and hands it to me. “Here. I don’t want it to get stepped on.”

“Thanks,” I say, tossing the box on a shelf.

Why did this little meet-and-greet have to happen in the condom aisle? Seriously, why?

“I’ll let you two talk,” Frank says to me, then he looks at Scott. “Can I help you find something?”

“Actually, I’m here to see Trina,” he says, his arm still around me. “I didn’t want to wait until our date tonight.”

“Date?” Frank says, sounding concerned. “I thought you two weren’t an item.”

“Oh, we’re definitely an item.” Scott smiles at me. “Aren’t we, babe?”

“We are.” I look back at Frank. “I didn’t tell you because we wanted to wait before we made an announcement.” I look up at Scott. “But Scott just couldn’t keep it a secret.”

“Well, I’m happy for you both,” Frank says. “I guess Wally will have to find other plans for tonight.”

“What about her?” Wally points to Rose.

“No.” Frank shakes his head. “There’s something not quite right about that girl. Come on, Wally. I’ll show you some of the new products we got in.”

I wait until they’re gone, then turn to Scott. “Thanks for saving me.”

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