Page 91 of The Jerk in Apartment 1B

“I’m nottryingto get your job. I already have one.”

“All Frank talks about is how great you are and how the customers like you and all this other crap. I bet he offers you a job at the register, but you better not take it.” She points her finger at my face. “If you do, you’re going to regret it.”

“You’re threatening me? Over a cashier job?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” She huffs. “You think it’s not a good job? You think you’re better than me?”

This girl has a serious anger problem. And she’s always thinking people are out to get her.

“Look, I don’t want your job,” I tell her. “I like stocking. It’s easy, and I don’t have to deal with anyone. Cashiering is way harder. You have to handle money and memorize all the produce codes and deal with customers. You’re obviously really good at it because you make it look easy. I’d be struggling. It’d take me years to figure it out.”

She smiles a little. “Iamreally good at it.”

“So you have nothing to worry about. Frank wouldn’t even consider taking you off the register.”

She glances at him, then back at me. “If you want him to back off the thing with Wally, just tell him you have a boyfriend.”

“I already did. Well, I said I had a date.”

“A date isn’t a boyfriend. Just make a guy up if you have to. Or tell him it’s that guy who lives in your building.”

“You mean Scott?”

“Yeah, Frank keeps telling him to ask you out. He’d totally believe you if you said you’re dating him.”

“Frank told Scott to go out with me? Are you sure?”

“Have you noticed how loud Frank talks? The whole store heard him. And he said it more than once.”

“Then why is he setting me up with Wally?”

“Because it’s his next best choice to match you up with? I don’t know. I gotta go on my break.” She takes off.

I think Rose and I are finally getting along. Now I get why she hated me. She thought I wanted her job. I wouldn’t be surprised if Frank offered it to me. I’m a lot friendlier than Rose. But I wouldn’t take it. I actually like stocking shelves.

Speaking of that, I need to go find the condoms. Or prophylactics, as Frank would say. I’ve never heard them called that.

Back in the storeroom, I head to the personal hygiene section and find the condoms. I forgot to check which ones we need. I grab a few boxes of each, knowing we usually sell out of every kind on Friday nights. The same will be true tonight, as people stock up for their dates.

When I go back out to the store to the condom section, I find there’s only one box left. A lot of people were getting lucky last night. Except for me, but I’m not going to think about that anymore.

As I’m filling the racks, I see Rose returning from her break, taking Frank’s place at the register. I hope he doesn’t come over here and tell me more about Wally. Keeping an eye on him, I watch as he walks over to a woman at the dairy case and starts talking to her.

“What do you recommend?” someone says, startling me.

I look back and see Scott behind me. Of course, he would show up when I’m stocking condoms.

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

Trina

“I don’t know,” I say. “I don’t have a use for them.”

“But if you did,” he says, smiling a little. “What would you recommend?”

“These.” I shove a box of extra large condoms his way. “Guys like to think they need the largest size. It’s an ego thing.”

“And what do girls prefer?”

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