Page 98 of Between Here and There

“But that’s not the only reason I’m here,” he says, his eyes meeting mine.

I tilt my head, crossing my arms. “What else?”

“I…” He falters, chuckling nervously and rubbing the back of his neck. “I really needed a coffee fix.”

I roll my eyes, about to retort when he cuts me off. “Kidding. I’m here because…” He takes a deep breath, his gaze darting around the alley before finally landing on me.

“Joshua?” I prompt, my heart inexplicably starting to race.

He takes a deep breath, his eyes scanning the room before landing back on me. “Right. Um…” His brow furrows as he struggles to find the words, the normally confident Joshua suddenly looking like a boy about to confess something heavy. “Sorry. I’ve never really done this before.”

I arch an eyebrow. “Done what exactly?”

“Confess,” he blurts out.

I can’t help but snort. “Oh my god, Joshua, where did you hide the body?”

His expression shifts from nervous to amused, a small laugh escaping him. “Ha ha, very funny. I’m not confessing to a murder, though honestly, that might be easier.”

“Then what are you confessing to?” I ask, my heart pounding in my chest, even though I try to keep my tone light.

He swallows hard, his gaze never leaving mine. “I’m trying to confess… that I’ve fallen in love with you.”

The words hang in the air, and for a second, I forget to breathe. My stomach flips, and a wave of heat rushes through me. I open my mouth to say something, but nothing comes out. Finally, I manage, “Go on, then.”

Joshua exhales slowly, stepping closer, his presence consuming the space around me. “The past few days you spent at my apartment… those were the best days of my life. I’m not exaggerating,” he says, his voice steady but filled with emotion. “And the days before that, the ones we spent back home, those were the next best days. Honestly, the only day that even comes close was the day I kissed you for the first time.”

His eyes lock with mine as he takes another step closer, closing the small distance between us. My pulse races as his warmth washes over me. “The bottom line, Emily,” he says, his voice low and earnest, “Is that all the best days of my life… were the ones I’ve spent with you.”

My throat tightens, and I feel tears prickling at the corners of my eyes. I’ve imagined this moment in a hundred different ways, but nothing could have prepared me for the real thing—for the raw honesty in his voice or the way he’s looking at me, like I’m the only thing that matters.

“If you still need a moment to figure out your own thoughts, I won’t stop you,” he continues, his hand reaching out to gently brush my arm, “I’m just saying… I know what I feel for you. And I know it’s not casual, or temporary, or something I’m just going to get over.”

My breath catches, and for a second, I forget how to respond. The vulnerability in his eyes is staggering, and it makes me feel seen in a way that’s both comforting and terrifying.

“I…” I start, my voice shaking. “I don’t really need anyone in my life right now,” I admit, my heart aching with the truth of it. I’ve spent so long trying to be strong on my own, convincing myself I didn’t need anyone.

“I know you don’t.” Joshua’s expression softens, his hands finding mine. “Which is why I’m not asking you to need me, Emily,” he says quietly, his thumbs tracing gentle circles over my knuckles. “I’m asking you towantme.”

He lifts my hands to his lips, pressing a soft kiss to each one; the gesture so tender it sends a shiver down my spine. “I’m asking you to choose me. To want to be with me, just as I want to be with you. But even if you don’t… even if you choose not to, I’ll respect that. I’ll walk away.”

“What about the mess? The uncertainty? The risk?”

Joshua takes a step closer, his eyes intense, filled with a kind of certainty I’ve never seen before. “All worth it,” he says firmly. “If it becomes messy, I’ll clean it up. If it’s uncertain, we’ll figure it out together. And I’d take every single risk a hundred times over if it means I get to be with you.”

His voice wavers as he continues, his vulnerability laid bare. “You changed me, Emily. In a way I never thought possible. I didn’t even realize how empty my life felt until you came into it. And I just... I…” he stammers. He tucks a strand of hair behind my ear and holds my face in his hand. “I love you,” he finally says. “I love you so much that I can’t sleep at night. And when I do sleep, it’s you I see in my dreams.”

He pauses, running a shaky hand through his hair, his chest rising and falling with the weight of his confession. “I’m consumed by thoughts of you, even when I tried to push them away. And believe me, I tried. But it’s impossible to ignore it, Em. For the first time in my life, I let myself feel something real. I let myself follow where my heart wanted to go, and it led me here.”

Tears sting my eyes, and I try to blink them away, but it’s no use. They spill over, trailing down my cheeks as his words break something open inside me. Joshua’s thumb brushes against my cheek, wiping the tears away, and the warmth of his touch makes me tremble.

His voice cracks slightly, but he steadies himself, looking at me with a depth of emotion that shakes me to my core. “I just needed you to know how I feel. Because if there’s even a part of you that feels the same, I’m willing to give everything I have to make this work.”

I’m crying openly now, the flood of emotions too much to contain. He doesn’t try to stop me, doesn’t ask for anything more than what I’m willing to give. Instead, he just holds my hands, grounding me in the moment, and letting me feel everything without expectation or pressure.

For a long moment, neither of us speaks. The air between us hums with everything unsaid, with all the possibilities stretching out before us. And when I finally find my voice, it’s barely more than a whisper. “Joshua… you’re the first person who’s ever made me feel like I could let my guard down.”

His eyes soften at my words, the depth of his feelings so clear in the way he looks at me. “Then let it down, Em,” he says quietly, his grip on my hands tightening just slightly, like he’s afraid to let go. “Let it down, and let me in.”

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