Page 67 of Between Here and There

“Umm, hey,” I say. I grab my coffee and pastry from Wendy, the cashier, and make my way toward one of the tables.

“Mind if I join you?” Rob asks. To be honest, Idomind. Not to mention, Freida is standing by the window, watching me intently like the scary villain that she is. But at the same time, I’m still on a high from the earlier exchange with my mom, and I want to leave this place without any baggage, so instead of being mean and snarky, I smile.

“Not at all,” I say, motioning to the seat in front of me. “Are you not gonna eat anything?” I ask.

“No, I actually just want to talk to you,” he replies. “Please, feel free to finish your breakfast.” I take a sip of my coffee and look at him with my eyebrows raised.

“So, what’s up?” I ask.

“I just…” he sighs. “I just want to apologize. For real, this time.” He smiles slightly, and suddenly, I get a glimpse of the guy I used to love. His eyes are suddenly soft, kind. For the first time since I got here. I don’t say anything, though, so he continues. “First, I’m sorry for cheating on you. It was unfair and you didn’t deserve that. I should’ve just come clean and admit that I fell in love with Denise while you were away,” he says. I have to admit, I’m oddly irritated. Irritated that he really loves her, and he didn’t bring her as a scheme to spite me, like what I did with Joshua.

“It was unfair to Denise, too, and the reason why I wasn’t able to apologize to you right away was because I tried to make it right with her. When she found out, she was furious, and she broke up with me. But,” he stammers. “But I love her, so I begged her not to. And all my attention, all my focus, was on her. I’m sorry for not thinking about what you’re feeling, Em.”

“Thanks,” I say, thinking he was done. But he goes on.

“Second, I’m sorry for treating that Ben thing so lightly,” he says. I didn’t expect him to even remember. “If you haven’t yet, you should quit that job. He’s not gonna be nicer to you. I’m sorry for not being the person you could count on.”

This time, I feel a tug in my heart. He’s being sincere. His apologies are actual apologies, and not an introduction to another petty thing to throw at me.

“Lastly,” he says with a sigh. “I’m sorry for not believing you and Joshua. At first I was jealous. I saw you for the first time and I kind of regretted letting you go. Then I saw you kissing him, the man I’m so infuriatingly insecure about,” he chuckles. “Again, I reacted rashly. Seeing you two these past days, I understand. I understand why you’re together. You fit so incredibly well, I really wish you both the best.”

He doesn’t know that none of it is real. He doesn’t know that while Josh and I are attracted to each other, it’s the only thing fueling our little ruse. I tie my hair in a bun on my head to keep it from going to my face. I don’t know what to say, so I just take a bite of my croissant.

“I’m sure there are a million other little things I’ve done that need apologizing,” Rob says. “But let me just say that I’m sorry for being such an ass to you. You deserve better, and I’m glad you found it.”

I’m speechless. At first, I don’t know how to react, but I ask, “Why now?”

He scratches the back of his head. “Denise. She told me she couldn’t be with a guy who treated another woman the way I treated you. She helped me see how badly I’d messed up. Honestly, it was a wake-up call.”

“She sounds like she’s really good for you,” I say, letting the words land with a sense of finality. “Well, I forgive you. Not because what you did was okay, but because... I’m the kindest freaking person in the world.”

As I say it, I feel unshackled. It’s true. I really do forgive him. Andwowdoes it feel good to let go of the hatred, the hurt, the anguish, and everything in between.

Rob laughs, the tension between us dissolving a little. “Yeah, you are,” he says with a half-smile. We just sit there, in this strange kind of peace, knowing we’re finally letting go of something we’ve both been holding onto for too long.

Suddenly, the bell in the shop rings so I look up at the door, and my heart skips a beat. Joshua enters, wearing the usual black shirt and baseball cap. He scans the place, and his eyes lock onto mine. Rob notices the shift in me, and looks behind him. When Josh sees him, his brows furrow.

“I should probably go,” Rob says. “Not a fan of your boyfriend’s death stare.” He chuckles. “I’ll see you around, Emily.”

“Yeah,” I say, smiling. “Thanks.”

Seconds later, Rob is outside, and the man in front of me is replaced with a much more attractive, much more take-my-breath-away version.

“What was that about?” Josh asks with raised brows. “You okay? Was he harassing you? Do I need to follow him out?”

I chuckle. “No,” I say. “He was actually apologizing. Like, really apologizing.”

Josh nods slowly and removes his baseball cap. He brushes a hand through his hair, and gives me a soft smile. We stay there in silence. I’m aware of how much meaning there is between us right now. My mind drifts back to our hike—the warmth of him beside me in the tent, the way he looked at me under the dim light. He’s still looking at me like that now, as if he can read my mind, as if he knows there’s something there that neither of us has quite put words to.

“You ready for the flight tomorrow?” Josh says casually.

“Yeah, you?” I ask, and he nods.

This is weird. This isn’t us. Not that there’s anusto begin with, but we’re usually comfortable around each other. Fake or not, I’d like to believe we’re at least friends. So where is this painful awkwardness coming from?

Joshua shifts, still holding his cap in his hand, his fingers grazing the brim as he looks at me, and I feel a pang in my chest that I can’t quite name. There’s a wall between us now, an invisible, unspoken thing that wasn't there before. It’s like we both know something has changed, but neither of us is brave enough to be the first to admit it.

“I, uh…” he starts, breaking the silence. He clears his throat, then looks away, glancing at the menu by the counter as if they suddenly hold the answers to everything. “Thought I’d come by to make sure you were set for tomorrow.” His eyes flicker back to mine. “Anything you need help with?”

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