Page 65 of Between Here and There

I look at her, and her eyes are mirroring the vulnerability I’m feeling. I’ve only started to allow myself to want her, and now I’m already on the verge of losing her. Even now, I’m already hurting her, and I don’t know if I can handle this. I don’t know how todothis.

“I don’t want this to fade, Em. I don’t care if it’s complicated, or if we end up hurting. I just…” I trail off.

She looks up, her expression softening. She presses her lips together, and a quiet, almost resigned look settles over her face. She gives me a faint smile and she sighs.

“Maybe we can’t know yet. But for right now, I don’t want to think about anything else. This night is too good for that.”

It bothers me that everything is still unresolved between us. But Emily seems to feel better because she relaxes. So I just smile and nod.

And with that, her walls seem to ease down, just a little, as she leans into me, the weight of the moment pulling us closer than I thought was possible. For now, in this tent, with no one else around, it’s enough.

I lean forward, and she follows, our gazes meeting, our breaths mingling in the quiet space between us. I put one hand on her cheek, and she leans on my palm. Her skin is soft and warm against my touch, and I guess she feels it too because her face blushes at the contact. I smile, and she does the same. I’m ready to close the distance, to let this moment be what it wants to be—

“Sunrise!” Haley’s voice pierces the silence, loud and clear from outside.

Sunrise?Already? Have we really been talking all night? Emily and I freeze, inches apart, and I watch her eyes flutter open, a surprised laugh escaping her lips.

“We should probably watch the sunrise,” she whispers.

I nod, reluctant to let go of this moment but knowing that maybe it’s not about holding on so tightly. Maybe it’s about savoring it just as it is, knowing it’s part of something bigger, something still unfolding.

We put on our layers and get out of the tent, as we’re greeted by the freezing wind. I put my arm around Emily as we walk toward the edge where everyone else is. At this point, I don’t even think about doing it for show. All I know is that I want to be as close to her as possible.

There’s a fear inside me. A fear that disguises itself as attraction. For weeks, I’ve convinced myself that Emily was just an itch I had to scratch. But who am I kidding? Every single minute I spend with her is bliss, and every minute we spend apart is agony.

I sneak a glance at her as the sky shifts from dark blue to the faintest hint of pink. She’s watching the horizon, lost in her own thoughts, and I’m struck by a feeling I don’t quite know how to name. I want her here, beside me, not just for now but for whatever follows.

As the first light breaches the horizon, a soft, golden glow spreads across her face, illuminating her features in a way that’s almost surreal. She’s radiant, so much so that I can barely look away. The world around us could fade, and I wouldn’t notice. All I see is her, standing there, every inch of her wrapped in this quiet beauty that makes my chest ache.

“Wow,” she says, looking at the sunrise.

And in that moment, one simple thought fills my mind: She is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. More beautiful than the sunrise. And I don’t just mean her face this time. I’ve seen her bare her heart. Her thoughts. Her struggles. I’ve seen all that she’s had to live with. And no sunrise can ever compare to that level of beauty.

“Yeah,” I say, in a voice that’s barely a whisper. “Wow.”

This terrifies me. Because nothing good has ever come easy, and I know deep down that if I fall for her—and maybe I’m already there—there won’t be any going back.

I don’t think I’ll be the same after her.

And honestly? I don’t think I want to be.

CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE

Emily

Ihaven’t seen Joshua since we arrived from the hike yesterday. I don’t know why that’s my first thought in the morning, but I’m not surprised anymore. The man has a weird way of creeping into my thoughts—awake or not.

To be honest, I felt something shift. I want to say it’s just me overthinking it like I usually do, but I didn’t even have to exert effort in thinking about this one at all. We spent hours being totally honest with each other, and it opened something in my chest that’s been closed for ages—the ability tofeel.That night in the tent, I felt every possible feeling in the world.

I felt seen. I felt cared for. I felt happy. I felt scared. I felt new feelings I didn’t know existed. Pixar can create a whole newInside Outmovie off the new emotions I discovered that night.

I remember the way he looked at me, the way he held my hand, the way we almost—ugh. I suddenly hear a knock on my bedroom door, pulling me back to reality.

“Come in,” I grumble as I sit up.

My mother enters, with a faint smile on her face. She sits at the foot of my bed, and I look at her with my eyebrows raised. “Did you have fun at the hike?” she asks.

I nod, not really in the mood to expound on what happened. I wish she would just cut to the chase, though. It’s always like this. She would butter me up with small talks about myself, but end up asking for something.

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