Page 46 of Between Here and There

I nod slowly, though I’m not entirely sure I believe I can do it. Allowing myself to feel means I’m opening myself up toallthe feelings—the good and the bad. The love and the hurt. And I can’t bring myself to risk getting hurt like that again. Besides, I have so much to worry about already. There’s my mom and my sister, who are relying on me for everything. Which brings me to my career (or lack thereof) that I badly need to support them. There’s my impending homelessness when I return to New York. Everything in my life is falling apart, and I can’t add another one to that complicated mess.

“Anyhoo!” Bon suddenly chirps, back to her bubbly self. “I’m done!” She flings her dress around and twirls, her laughter brightening the room. She carefully hangs the gown on her dresser before turning to me with a mock-serious stance, hands on her hips. “If there’s one thing I’m doing traditionally, it’s getting my beauty sleep. So, while I appreciate your lovely presence tonight, Em-em, I will now retire to my chambers for my much-needed slumber,” she declares dramatically.

She disappears into the bathroom but immediately peeks back out with a grin. “You’re free to linger, though. I won’t mind if you feel the need to bask in my pre-wedding glow.”

“While I would love to watch you snore and summon the demons of hell, it’s only seven, so I’ll leave you to it.” I walk toward the bathroom and give Bon a rare hug, catching her off guard. “You’re gonna be the most beautiful bride. And you’re gonna be amazing tomorrow, just remember to breathe.”

Bon pulls back and looks at me like I’ve offended her. “Breathe?” she scoffs. “Please, I’m so calm, I’ll helpyoubreathe.”

“Not impossible,” I say, and we both burst out laughing, the sound filling the room with warmth and familiarity. She returns to her bathroom, and I turn to leave.

As soon as I make it out of their house, my phone rings.

“Hello?”

“Miss Emily Rodriguez?” a woman says on the other line. When I confirm my identity, she continues, “This is Sarah from Parkview Properties. I’m calling about the studio apartment you inquired about in Manhattan.”

My heart skips a beat. I’ve been waiting for this call. “Yes, that’s me.”

“Well, I’m happy to inform you that the apartment on 34thStreet is available. It’s a cozy studio with lots of natural light, just a few blocks from the subway. It’s small, but perfect for one person. And if you’re still interested, we can arrange a viewing.”

Sarah continues talking about the amenities, the great location, and how quickly apartments in that neighborhood get snatched up. But I’m only half-listening. My mind is already spiraling. I know it’s going to be expensive—more than I can handle right now. What was I thinking? Moving into a studio in Manhattan? I can barely keep my head above water as it is.

“I’ll be back next week,” I say automatically, the words coming out before I can stop them. “We can do the viewing on Friday.”

“Great! I’ll put you down for Friday at three,” Sarah says brightly. The call ends, and I stare down at my phone, feeling a pit form in my stomach.

I can’t afford this. I know I can’t. Between trying to help with my sister’s schooling, managing the bills here, and barely scraping by on my own, how am I supposed to make this work? The numbers don’t add up. I’m already stretching myself too thin—what if I’m better off coming clean and staying here?

I sit on the plant box in front of the Santiagos’ house and bury my face in my hands. I don’t realize I’m quiet-screaming until I hear the familiar voice beside me.

“Well, that was a lot quieter than your last tantrum,” Joshua says, taking a seat beside me. I look up, startled. He’s watching me with his usual calm expression, one eyebrow raised, but there’s concern there too. “It’s too early in the night to be stressed out. What’s wrong, Em?”

“Ugh, everything,” I groan, dropping my hands into my lap. “I’m dreading going back to New York. I don’t want to even think about what will happen when I do.” I glance at him, and it hits me: he’s always there when I need to escape my reality. It’s like he knows when I’m spiraling and steps in before I fall apart.

Joshua tilts his head slightly, reading my expression like it’s the easiest thing in the world. “Do you want to talk about it? Or do you want to forget about it? Either way, I’m your guy.”

“Forget. Definitely,” I say. Because I can’t dwell on all that right now.

“You sure?” Joshua asks, and I nod. He leans back and smiles, that familiar mischievous look in his eyes. “Okay. Remember that red dress you were bragging about?” he asks.

I nod slowly, already curious. “Yeah, why?”

“Go wear it. I’ll meet you at your doorstep in twenty minutes.”

I blink at him, confused. “We’re going out the night before Bon and Ryan’s wedding?”

“It’s not like you’re the one getting married,” he says with a shrug. “Besides, would you rather wallow in your sadness?”

“Fine,” I say in surrender. “But you have to be ready.”

“For what?”

“To have your breath taken away,” I say playfully.

“Nice of you to assume you haven’t already done that.”

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

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