Page 25 of Between Here and There

I can’t help but laugh, shaking my head. “Exactly. But with Josh… I don’t know.” I pause, searching for the right words, my voice softening. I look at Bon and say, “With him, I’m... free. I’m confident. I feel safe.”

The words surprise me as they come out, a little too honest for something that’s supposed to be fake. But they’re true, and I feel them settle in the air between us.

Bon studies me, her expression softening. “When you put it that way…” She reaches over, placing a hand on my lap. “I will try my best to be happy for you both. Truly. And honestly? I think you’re probably the best thing to ever happen to him. You’ve probably made Kuya a much better person already.”

I just smile. Everything feels suffocating. I glance at Kate, hoping for a change in the conversation, but she just gives me a knowing smile. “Whatever it is, we’re here for you,” she says. “Even if it’s complicated.”

“Especially if it’s complicated. It’s where we thrive,” Haley chimes in, throwing me a wink. She pours more wine into all our glasses, the liquid shining under the dim light of my room. “Here’s to complicated men and even more complicated relationships,” she adds, raising her glass high.

Kate raises hers too and, with a playful smirk, says, “May they uncomplicate themselves in the future.”

We clink our glasses, the sound punctuated by laughter. Bon, in typical fashion, manages to spill wine on her pajamas as she clinks a little too hard. “Oh, for crying out loud,” she groans, wiping at the stain. “Why does this always happen to me?”

“You’re a walking disaster,” Haley teases, tossing her a napkin. “Good luck with your wedding dress.”

“That is why we will be drinking champagne at the wedding,” Bon says.

Before the laughter dies down, Haley fixes me with a mischievous look, her head tilting as she grabs another chip. “So tell us. We’re all dying to know…” She draws out her words, her grin widening. “How’s Joshua? Is he, you know… good in–”

“Okay, no. Stop right there!” Bon interrupts, throwing her hands up with a visible shudder. “We absolutely donotwant to know that.” She glances at me, though, her eyebrows arching in curiosity. “But…” She trails off dramatically, her grin returning. “Have you already?”

I roll my eyes, crossing my arms over my chest. “I’m not answering that.”

It’s not like Joshua and I have done anything—nothing remotely close. But for some reason, just outright saying no feels strange. Like it might invite more questions I’m not ready to answer. Not that the thought hasn’t crossed my mind. I shake my head, willing the heat in my cheeks to fade.

“Oh, come on!” Kate pipes up, leaning forward to nudge me with her foot, her expression both amused and insistent. Bon grabs a pillow and throws it at me, scrunching her nose in mock disgust.

“Next question!” I say firmly, catching the pillow mid-air and tossing it back at Bon. “Seriously, enough about me. What about you guys? How are you?”

They all exchange glances, but ultimately decide to let me off the hook.Crisis averted, at least for now.

We spend the next few hours talking about everything but me—Kate’s preschool stories and her dream to put up a bakery someday, Haley’s newest theater gig, Bon’s wedding plans. I feel a pang of guilt as my lies pile up. Not just about Joshua, but about my job too. I’ve kept so much from them. But thankfully, my career doesn’t spring up too much, and I do my best to steer the conversation whenever it starts veering in that direction.

For a while, everything is okay. I’m with my best friends, in the room where we spent countless nights talking about our dreams. It’s like we’re eighteen again. Usually, it’s only a matter of time before someone suggests something ridiculous—like the time we got flower tattoos the summer before college. A rose for me, a lavender for Kate, a lotus for Haley, and a sunflower for Bon.

Now, after a few more glasses of wine and rounds of reminiscing, we’re all curled up in my bed, limbs tangled and blankets thrown haphazardly. They fall asleep instantly while I’m left wide awake, my ruined body clock refusing to let me sleep. I stay here for a bit, staring at the ceiling. The quiet should be comforting, but it instead leaves too much space for my mind to roam. And every time my mind roams, it goes to terrible places. Like the mind equivalent of a pet graveyard.

I’ve only been here for hours, but I’m already exhausted from all the lying. It’s like I’m stuck in two worlds. One where I have a hot boyfriend and an impressive career, and the other one being reality. And I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I suddenly want to spend time with the only person who’s in this charade with me. The only person who has escaped reality with me.

So, before I can overthink it, I fire a quick text to Joshua, hoping his body clock is as messed up as mine.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

Joshua

Ican’t sleep. My body is stuck in New York time, and it’s used to doing physical work by now. I’ve been in my bed for hours, waiting for exhaustion to come. Emily and I were convincing at dinner earlier. And if it’s gonna be as easy as that, then I have nothing to worry about.

I look at my phone and notice a notification I wasn’t able to acknowledge earlier. It’s the shared note Emily sent me in the car. Opening it, I grin at what she wrote there.

I prop myself up, and make my edits to the notes, and wait for her to notice. But she doesn’t. Instead, I receive a text.

TANTRUM EM: You up?

A smile tugs at my lips at the sight of her nickname on my screen, already feeling more awake as I reply.

JOSHUA (ME): You know I am. To what do I owe the pleasure? ;)

TANTRUM EM: Can't sleep. Walk with me?

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