Page 43 of No Save Point

Right when I think I finally know what I’m doing, when I think I’ve got her exactly where she needs to be, right when I know she’s about to come— She says it. “Carter… fuck me.”

I freeze. Like, full stop, body locked, brain short-circuiting, lungs refusing to work, heart slamming against my ribs, every single part of me absolutely malfunctioning. I don’t move. I don’t breathe… what? What…?

My entire body goes tight, my fingers still buried inside her, my mouth still pressed against her, my heart pounding so hard I can hear it in my ears.

I should say something. Do anything that doesn’t make me look like I’ve blue-screened. But my brain’s offline. How the hell am I supposed to resist Haven like this, when she’s saying the one thing I’ve fantasized about more nights than I’ll ever admit?

I can’t. God, I can’t.

But the thing is… I don’t know if I can actually do this. Not the way she deserves. Not without completely embarrassing myself. What if I’m too fast? What if I fuck it up? I don’t know if I’ll even last long enough to figure out how to do it right.

My breath is heavy, uneven, my pulse so loud I swear she can hear it. I don’t move, but Haven does.

Her fingers press into my shoulders, anchoring me like she already knows I’m seconds from spinning out.

And right then, in the exact moment I should say something, do something—I freeze.

Again. Because how the hell am I supposed to say no to her?

To this? To the girl I’ve wanted since the second I heard her laugh through a headset?

How am I supposed to be the one who stops this when every single part of me is screaming to let it happen?

I don’t know how to be anything but the guy who’s wanted her for months and has no idea what the hell he’s doing now that he finally gets to have her.

So I just sit there.

All I can do is look at her and think—please don’t change your mind. Please don’t stop. Please don’t let this be the moment you realize I’m not enough.

21

Haven

Iam a complete fucking mess. Carter has no fucking clue what he’s just done to me. He’s still between my thighs, his hands flexing against my hips, still struggling to believe that any of this is real.

He doesn’t even realize he’s already ruined me, and he hasn’t even fucked me yet. I should be pushing him further, pulling him into me, making him feel what he’s made me desperate for. Just as I reach for him, and as I start to move beneath him, I feel it.

The hesitation. The tension pulling back into his muscles, the second-guessing creeping in, the nerves that I can literally see starting to take over.

His fingers twitch on my waist. His lips part like he’s about to say something, but he doesn’t. He’s nervous again. Because he wants this—God, I can feel how much he wants this.

But I also know he’s overthinking. This isn’t just sex, this is everything. So before he can spiral and start thinking himself out of it, I reach up, curling my fingers around the back of his neck, pulling him up to me, kissing him slowly. The second my lips meet his, his body melts into mine.

The tension in his shoulders eases, his grip on me softens. I know he needs to hear it, because I know he needs to know this is okay, I whisper against his lips, “You don’t have to. We can stop.”

His entire body goes tight again. He pulls back just slightly, just enough to meet my gaze, just enough for me to see the conflict stirring behind his eyes.

He shakes his head. “I-I don’t want to stop Haven.” His voice is low, so fucking sure. His fingers dig into my skin, his body pressing into mine, his breath hitching when he adds, “This is… this is the single most perfect moment of my life.”

That hesitation, gone. Instead, he’s looking at me like he’s ready to give me everything, like I’m the only thing in the world that matters, like this is the moment he’s been waiting for his entire life. And fuck, now I need to figure out how the hell we’re actually going to do this.

His cock is big, bigger than I was prepared for and definitely bigger than I’ve ever dealt with. I swallow hard, forcing myself to think through it. This is his first time, which means I need to make it good for him. Which means I need to be in control.That means… on top.

Fuck. That would be the best for him but the worst for me. Because having him like that, watching him completely fall apart while I ride him, knowing he’s never felt anything like this before?

That’s going to kill me. God, I want it.

I want to see the way his body reacts when he’s finally inside me, want to watch the way he loses his mind when he realizes how good it feels, want to hear the way he whimpers my name when I show him exactly how perfect this is going to be.

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