Page 8 of Witches Be Damned

Oh, man. Of all the times Pascal lucked out meeting a second god and a comic character.

“Why do you summon me, criminal?” Hades boomed, impatience at being bothered burning his voice. “Why don’t you call the god of Thieves for whatever deception you’re up to?”

Been there, done that. We got a location but no approval. Typical of a trickster. My fault for not adding that condition. I wasn’t exactly thinking straight at the time, just like I wasn’t now, summoning a god of Death to bargain with. Yep, definitely losing my marbles.

Serena and Loco’s gazes darted between us like they couldn’t believe their eyes. In all fairness, Hades was a god in the flesh, a walking block of marble and probably just as hard.

“Because you owe us.” At my reply, the Lord of the Underworld broke into an irritated snarl as if I wasted his time and he had more important things to do, like judging souls in the Greek Underworld.

“I owe you nothing, criminal.” Hmm. Testy.

Maybe I should have called his wife, Autumn. She seemed friendlier and nicer in the comics. Too late.

I stumbled over to him, nudged past, and blocked him, earning the coldest dark eyes reaching into my soul. Chilled to the core, I didn’t let it deter me. I was my girl’s Superguy and advocated for her life, even if it meant pissing off a god and sacrificing my own.

“Yes, you do,” I started my argument.

Hades rumbled with outrage at me, a mere mortal, for daring to address him when he dismissed me. Fuck him. He wasn’t leaving until I got what I wanted.

“Who the hell is this bozo?” Loco, the mad bastard, crept forward, knives raised at a literal god.

“Cut it with the insults, Dad,” I warned, trying to stop this from getting out of hand when I had one shot at this. “He’s a god and can send you to the afterlife.”

Hades turned his unforgiving gaze to Loco, spinning his knives like a man with a death wish.

“Remember the Horn of Chrysomallos, Lord of the Dead?” I brought the god’s attention back to me before we lost a second member of team in a day. The cold burn of Hades’ gaze blistered me. “You know? The one that won your war with Zeus?”

Hades’ eyes opened wide at my question, as if he didn’t anticipate my knowledge of the event.

The war featured in a special edition of Cupid’s Vengeance, which I suspected Mads played a hand in publishing. I mean, who else knew about that turn of events?

“We found it and gave it to Mads,” I said. “We saved your kingdom and your ass, and you owe us.”

Yep, Hades was definitely not happy about this fact or that he was indebted to us dirty criminals.

“I owe you no such thing, criminal.” He shoved me aside with ease, and I tripped on a stair, falling on my ass.

This guy was a real pain in the ass. Why did Mads admit to liking him? I began to seriously doubt the story Knoxe gave me. No one in their right mind would befriend a grumpy asshole like this.

From what I read of the Hades myths, he liked to wager bets, and I was about to hedge one with him. “Then bargain with me, Lord of the Dead.”

Hades tipped his head to me, one brow raised, prompting me to broker with him. “What do you want, criminal? Besides to pester me.”

“For you to repay the favor we did for you. Help us save our girlfriend.” I gave him the story, his disapproving brows weighing down by the second. “She might die and come to your Underworld if you won’t save us. Trust me, you don’t want that. She won’t shut up about chemistry, comics, romance books, or monster dick.”

Hades’ eyes switched from a glare to outraged at the d-word.

I ended on, “So I suggest you help a guy out.”

“And what if I send you to save her and you die?” Hades growled. “You are bound for my Underworld. If you fail your mission, will you promise not to carry on and blame me for an eternity?”

An eternity? Hell to the no. I didn’t plan on dying anytime soon, and when I did, I wasn’t dallying in the Underworld with a guy like this. I opted for reincarnation straight away. Lots to do. The world to see. Rockstar dreams to achieve.

“Fine. I’ll promise not to annoy you, but only if you agree not to cheat us.” I wasn’t having any tricks from the Lord of the Dead. “The place is infested and surrounded by vampires. Possibly too many for us to battle our way in. Get us all in and out alive, and you won’t have five whiny souls on your hands.”

Hades sighed like he gave in. “Very well, criminal. Where is your beloved being held captive?”

I gave him the coordinates Mads shared with us and prayed like hell this worked, and he didn’t click us into the fiery pits of Tartarus.

---