Page 9 of Differences

My goals and Jay’s goals were no longer aligning. I wanted to make a name for myself...work hard and play later. Unfortunately, Jay’s goal was to play now and work later. When I first met Jay, I thought we were each other’s soulmates. We were ambitious yet free-spirited. We always looked to have a good time, no matter the cards we were dealt. As time went on, things shifted. In the beginning, I thought it was me. I apologized many times for all my shortcomings or for ever making him feel less of a man. Now that time has moved on, Jay was still not meeting me halfway. A part of me wanted to take back the apology because he heard it but didn’t accept it. He still made me feel bad about living out a dream. At one point, I thought Jay and I were soulmates, but now I was having second thoughts.

5

Weston

For the past five minutes, I’d been scrolling through Taja’s Instagram, looking at her pictures. I frowned at her drinking from a big margarita glass, advertising the opening of a new Mexican restaurant with soul food flair. She first brought it to the office for a test trial. Everyone went crazy about it except for me. She ignored my disgust, yet somehow, a Mexican street corn mixed with Cajun seasoning ended up on my desk. No matter how hard I tried to ignore it, the scent and the presentation won, and I destroyed it behind closed doors.

I won’t lie. Taja had this effect on me. The way her big curly hair sat freely on her head. The way her full pink lips pouted every time something upset her. All the women I dated wore luxury items that were black, nude, or brown. Unlike Taja, whose clothes were colorful, loud, patterned, and form-fitting. Taja’s curvy figure hugged every piece of clothing that she wore. It was getting hard sitting in meetings with her and seeing her shapely figure that I once had my mouth on.

“Aye, you’ve been on that phone the entire time. Who are you fucking on tonight?” my best friend, Keezy, asked.

I laughed.

Keezy was the only person I didn’t mind spending time with. He didn’t use me for my money, unlike the others. He had his own. We both came from nothing and made something of ourselves. We made a promise to get out of the hood, and that’s just what we did. I made myself a promise that anyone who impeded my dreams or used me for money, I would cut them off: family, friends, and coworkers. I didn’t spare anyone. Keezy understood that, which was why he was the only person I never cut off.

“Mind your business,” I asserted, still scrolling through Taja’s Instagram.

“How can I? Shit, you invited me out. You have been scrolling on the phone since we sat at the bar. I could’ve been working on getting me some action too!”

I ignored Keezy and continued strolling. Before I knew it, my phone was snatched out of my hand.

“Damn, man, what you doing?” I tried reaching for my phone, but Keezy moved out of the way.

A stupid ass grin appeared on his face, and I knew what for.

“Damn, shawty’s bad. I see why you’re ignoring me. I would be in a trance about her too.”

My body heated as I listened to Keezy talking about Taja. I wasn’t sure if it was jealousy, but I didn’t like it.

“Man, it ain’t nothing like that. She works at TRU.”

“Is she single?”

“Why?”

“What you mean, why? Put me on my nigga! Shawty’s different. It’s something about her that’ll make a man like me want to settle down.”

I scoffed and snatched my phone back. I felt myself getting hotter when Keezy was talking about Taja.

“How can you tell from scrolling on her Instagram? She ain’t single. She got a man.”

Keezy scoffed and reached for his phone. “I’m about to add her and slide in her DMs. She might have a man, but she ain’t got a man like me,” he quipped.

There was no way in hell I was going to introduce Keezy to Taja. A part of me was possessive of Taja. The moment I laid eyes on her in the club, I knew it was something about her. That night we spent together, I don’t think I ever smiled and laughed so much. She even had me eating McDonald’s. She was everything that I wasn’t — friendly, carefree, approachable, and easygoing. Everybody flocked to Taja. She never met a stranger. She was special. It was something about her, but she wasn’t checking for me. Taja was confident enough in herself that you couldn’t change her. We were opposites. She had a glow when she walked into any room, and I couldn’t care less if I made the next person smile.

“Leave that girl alone. I just told you she has a man. Plus, she doesn’t need to be introduced to your corrupt-ass lifestyle.”

Keezy looked at me with a raised brow. “You like her?”

“Huh?”

“You heard me.”

He laughed. “You feeling her, ain’t it?”

“What makes you say that?”

He sucked his teeth. “You ain’t ever told me not to explore no woman. We done had the same ones plenty of times. It seems like with this one, you don’t even want a nigga to follow her on social media.”

---