Page 26 of Not In Love

She stayed like that for a long time, the sheets and her skin growing cold, soreness pulsing at her core like a phantom length was still lodged deep inside her.

And Kash relived everything, every hitch of a breath, every taut inch of him, every stroke he had given her. Every word and smile and tease.

When dawn caressed the sky outside her window, filling the room with a dim pink light, she fell asleep. With a smile curving her lips.

CHAPTER8

The sun hung low over the Cancun sky, lazy and golden, casting molten light across the gently rolling surf. A salty breeze lifted tendrils of Kash’s hair off her neck, carrying the sound of far-off music and waves brushing against sand.

It had been nearly thirty-six hours since her explosive night with Diego and she was still reeling. He hadn’t even waited until the main celebration before flying out.

It was Tia who had conveyed his goodbye to her when she had gone to check on her the next morning, her body sore and eyes gritty from lack of sleep. Somehow, she’d kept her expression blank in front of her mother.

Both dismay and relief had filled Kash, the latter, to her shame, the more resonant emotion. Because she didn’t have to face him immediately.

Being part of Mona and Dominic’s renewal wedding ceremony had helped her put a pause on her own chaotic feelings.

Dom and DP had flown out that morning, their departure signaling the end of the celebrations. Mona had insisted the three of them stay on for two more days and neither Chaaru nor Kash had argued. The reprieve felt like a gift—time to exhale, to pause before the new year kicked them back to the hustle of their everyday lives.

Chaaru was quieter than usual, sunglasses hiding her eyes, but Kash had caught the faraway look more than once. DP had taken off on his mountaineering trip to Nepal, a dream he'd paused for years while raising his younger siblings. And while Chaaru hadn’t said it out loud, Kash suspected her friend was sitting with the quiet realization of how much she loved him.

A part of her wanted to tease and probe Chaaru. But she refrained. If a few hours of filthy sex with the one man she could never have could upend her like this, she couldn’t imagine what Chaaru must be feeling after spending a week in paradise with the man she loved. A man she wouldn’t see for months again.

Kash herself still felt sore, sun-dazed, and stretched open from the inside out. Her skin tingled with lingering heat, though she wasn’t sure if it was the sun or the memory of Diego’s hands on her body, his mouth on her skin, the rough sound of his voice in her ear.

It wasn’t just that he had kicked her out of the frozen limbo she’d been stuck in—it was that he was the first man to touch her like that in a long while. Her first true lover in years.

Simon had given her affection and adoration, comfort and contentment, but not this kind of raw intimacy. Not this utter physical and emotional surrender into another’s hands.

Having never tasted it, she had been happy to believe that it was overrated. That a man owning your mind, body and soul was for sappy K-dramas.

Even now, she felt the echo of that night in every step, in the way her thighs brushed together beneath her loose kaftan, in the dull, sweet ache deep inside her that pulsed in time with the waves. Wanted to be back in that room—the hush of it, the darkness, the way it had cradled them like a secret.

Out here, the world was too loud. The light too bright. The breeze on her skin too intrusive. Everything intruded. The beach, the sky, the way her daiquiri was already sweating in the sun. And the knowledge that it could never happen again.

“Earth to Kash,” Mona drawled, nudging her ankle with a freshly painted toe. “Don’t tell me you’re brooding over a man while sipping mango daiquiris on a beach in paradise.”

Kash blinked and sat up a little straighter, the turquoise dazzle of the ocean suddenly too sharp against her eyes. The sun glittered on the water like it knew all her secrets.

Chaaru gave a slow, unreadable smile behind her oversized sunglasses. “Let her have her moment, Mona. If I looked that sore and satisfied, I’d be daydreaming too.”

Kash glared at Chaaru, and the latter laughed, her broad shoulders shaking.

Mona watched Kash with a sly tilt to her head. “True, the whole island feels calmer this morning. Maybe because you and Diego finally got all that hot, volcanic energy out of the way?”

Kash snorted, nearly choking on her drink. “You’re impossible.”

Chaaru grinned. “She’s not wrong. I mean, the air’s lighter, the birds are chirping, and you’re glowing. Coincidence? I think not.”

“So, I get to be this afternoon’s target, huh?” Kash said, faking grumpiness.

Chaaru sighed heavily and swallowed the rest of her drink. “I’m just in waiting mode. Forever if I have to.”

Kash squeezed her shoulder, then leaned back in her lounger, shielding her face with one hand. “Okay, fine. Yes. It happened.”

Mona gasped dramatically. “You banged Diego?”

Kash let out a dry laugh. “Would you not say it like that? It makes me sound like a cougar in a tequila ad.”

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