Page 54 of Not In Love

In the next blink, he was fully awake and pulling out of her.

Kash gasped at the sudden emptiness at her core, at the kiss of a cold breeze over her bare skin. And watched with dawning dismay as he rolled himself right out of the bed.

Even in that half-confused, half-worried state, she couldn’t help but admire the damp sheen to his cut muscles and how his half-erect cock bobbed against his right thigh.

Panic flared across his rugged features, as if he wanted to be anywhere but in the room with her.

“Diego?” Kash said, heart in her throat. She felt bare and vulnerable—not because she was naked—but without his touch to anchor her, without his gaze draping over her, she felt alone in the bed. “What’s wrong?”

“I didn’t use a condom,” he said, his eyes fixated between her thighs.

A pulse of raw fear shot through her before her period dates flashed through her head. Relief and something she did not dare identify coursed through her in twin waves.

Jesus, what the hell was wrong with her that she felt disappointed that it was a safe time in her cycle?

Feeling dizzy at the turn of her thoughts, she pushed up to her elbows. His cum dripped down her bare thigh and pooled onto the pristine white sheets, making a mess of her. Kash gasped at the strangely thrilling sensation—she’d never been fucked bare and that it was Diego lit a fire under her skin.

Apparently, it was the moment for her mind to go down all kinds of twisted alleys where she could give full rein to wanting crazy things with this man.

When she looked up, it was to find a dark possessive look flash across Diego’s features. Exactly mirroring the buzz in her own body.

A warm flush built up her chest and neck. At least, they seemed to be in lockstep in this madness. “I know. I forgot too.” As if she was approaching an untamed predator, slowly, she stretched her arm out to him. “It’s not the right time for us to get in trouble, if it helps.”

His fingers were cold as he wrapped them around hers and nodded. “I’m sorry. I should’ve been more careful.” The rough thrust of his fingers through his damp hair was uncharacteristically shaky.

“It took the two of us, no?” she said with a soft smile.

Finally, he nodded. But his tight jaw didn’t relent.

Walking around the bed, he pulled his jeans on. It fluttered at the tip of her tongue to beg him to stay, to spend the night with her. But something about the vibes he gave off held her back.

No, she held herself back because she was a coward. Because she didn’t want to betray her tender feelings before she understood the depth of this want for him. Before she understood how many forgotten and forsaken dreams he’d unleashed inside her all over again.

Like wanting a man who would love her, no matter what. Like wanting to build a family with the said man.

The flaps of his shirt danced as he stopped at the foot of the bed and his gaze did another lingering traversal of her bare body. Nostrils flaring, he said, “Do you want me to stay? Help you clean up?”

Kash blinked, holding back tears that knocked like unwanted guests. He clearly didn’t want to stay, and she wasn’t going to beg him. Not because of her stupid pride or ego but because she wanted him to want to stay. Because she wanted him to feel all these strange, glorious, terrifying things about her as she did him. “Still not up for words then?” she said, somehow infusing a thread of humor into the words.

He shook his head, at least giving her an honest answer.

She nodded in return. Stared at the closed door long after it shut behind him.

Her legs were unsteady as she got out of the bed. She cleaned herself up in the bathroom, moving in slow motion while her heart galloped like a racehorse.

Not looking at her reflection, she returned to the bedroom. Crawled back in, pulled the covers over herself, and buried her face into the pillow where his scent still lingered.

Then she wept, silently, into the darkness, profoundly grateful to be alive, to feel this depth of love for him, and for the fear fisting her heart that he might not feel the same.

Because now that she had found a man worth giving over herself to, she could not settle for anything less from him.

* * *

The morning lightwas too bright, too cheerful when Kash woke up. For several confusing moments between sleep and waking, she didn’t understand the breath-stealing weight on her chest.

Until she took a big breath and the tangled sheets around her smelled like Diego. She rolled to her side, the sunlight highlighting the empty space beside her.

When she sat up, her body ached in delicious ways—her breasts sensitive, her thighs sore, her core tender. A yearning rose up inside her to see him there, powerful frame stretched beside her, muscled limbs warm and tight. And that devilish smirk he gave when he was teasing her.

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