Page 45 of Not In Love

The words landed like slaps, even though they were her own words. Her rules. Her lines.

Stupid of her to be hurt.

She cleared her throat, dragging her head back to reality. “Clever of you to drop the Collins & Emsworth name. I know they charge thousands an hour.”

“I wasn’t joking,” he said flatly.

She blinked and looked at him. “How can you afford them?”

“Sorry to break it to you like this, but I’m kind of a fucking millionaire, Kash,” he said drily enough that she stared at him. “I played for some of the big leagues like Liga del Sol and Grand Futbol Elite. Muriel invested every dime I made from day one. I never have to work a day if I don’t want to.”

She stared at him, stunned. The high forehead, the sharp nose, and the lush mouth, his profile was as familiar to her as her own. “But all the fundraising for the soccer academy,” she mumbled.

“I want to build it into a self-sufficient non-profit org at some point. I want scholarships for underprivileged youth, funding for travelling to games, insurance and other benefits for the employees.” He thrust a hand through his hair. “It makes no financial sense just to keep sinking my own funds into it. That won’t sustain the academy.”

Kash rubbed a finger over her temple. “I feel so stupid for not realizing the scope of what you’re building.”

“You should,” he said, a thin thread of bitterness in his tone. “Although I’m not surprised. You basically thought I was a bum.”

“That’s unfair,” she said, cheeks heating.

“Why do you think I offered to pay for Tia’s private school and those expensive extracurriculars? Kat was supposed to switch to the credit card I gave her for Tia’s expenses and her own, weeks before the accident.”

“I paid it all off.”

“I know,” he said, the two words carrying a hell of displeasure. “That wasn’t supposed to be your burden too. But those initial months after the accident, I didn’t want to make an issue out of it. And later, every time I brought up Tia’s expenses, you got defensive.”

Kash caught his hand and trapped it between hers. “I’m sorry for acting like that. But I swear, Diego, it was my fault more than yours. I’ve spent most of my life having no one to count on. And you were right, even two years after the accident, I kept looking up, expecting you to be gone. To abandon me. Because, honestly, if you wanted Tia, you could have taken her from me.”

“I never saw it like that,” he said, now sounding truly angry. “Tia loves you. I have to be a blind asshole to not see you made all the important decisions in her life even when Kat was alive.”

Resignation filled her as she leaned her back against the wall. How could she have taken so long to recognize what he was truly made of? “I acted like an uncaring bitch toward you.”

“You were grieving, lost.”

She laughed and he finally looked at her. Probably worried that she was losing it but thank God. She brought the back of his hand to her mouth and kissed the spot. “I could say it a thousand more times and it wouldn’t be enough. Thank you for being there.”

He gave her a stiff nod before untangling his hand from hers.

She swallowed the dismay that filled her and rooted around for something to say. “You’re right. I’ve probably gone overboard with Tia. Piano, golf, robotics...But I promise you. If she wants to give up most of them as she discovers her likes, I won’t pressure her.”

He chuckled softly. “It’s all the stuff you wanted to try as a girl. Tia’s lucky to have you.”

“How do you know that?” she whispered.

“Told you a million times, Doc. I find you interesting.” His voice was quieter now, almost soft. “When you find someone interesting... you collect facts about them.”

Kash didn’t know what to feel. Or rather, didn’t know how to bury what she felt. Because it was all there. By the truckload.

Building up under her skin, settling deep in her marrow, morphing into some kind of electric charge she carried around, day after day.

God, he was ruining her in more ways than one.

How could she protect her heart from someone like him? Someone who showed up, again and again, in every way she needed. Who got angry on her behalf. Who saw her—really saw her—and still wanted to hold her in her messiest moments. Who made her feel safe, no matter what.

She’d always been proud of her strength. Her independence. But this—this feeling of not having to be alone?

It was soul-filling. Like standing in sunlight after years in the dark.

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