Page 25 of Not In Love

Kash pressed her cheek into the sheets, tears and sweat dripping down, hungry gaze searching for his. When she found his, hazed with lust, she drank him in greedily. He looked wild, gorgeous.

She shattered again, flinching at her own pleasure, his devouring gaze the thing that tipped her over into freefall.

“Mine.” Thrust. “All mine.” Swivel. “Only mine, Kash.” He gave her a series of pounding thrusts that filled the room with erotic sounds, that wrecked her super-sensitized core, that pushed her upward on the bed. Another orgasm clutched at her core, pulling the last ounce of pleasure out of her battered flesh.

It pushed him into his own release.

He came with a quiet roar, mouth panting against her upper back. She closed her eyes and absorbed the shudders of his powerful body and how, even in that mindless moment, he was careful about not crushing her.

Tears leaked out of her eyes, and she thought she might have come undone completely. And she knew, even as every rational part of her revolted against it, that it was because who he was that—patient, generous and kind—that he had gotten through her and through to her.

* * *

It feltlike the world itself had come to a standstill at their explosive coming together. The damp on their skin cooled, turning sticky, but Kash didn’t want to lose the contact.

Before she could commandeer a word or two from her brain, Diego was pulling out. Rolling out of the bed as if he couldn’t bear to be there for another second.

A pained gasp floated past her lips. Deflated without him inside her, she fell onto the bed, her breath leaving her body. An instant hollow claimed the space he had taken inside her, but not just the sexual way.

The quiet stretched, charged and heavy. Somehow, she managed to turn her head to the other side, desperate to catch a glimpse of him.

His breath was ragged, skin shimmering with a damp sheen as he pulled off the condom and tied it up. Like a drunken sailor, he swayed on his feet as he swung his arm and threw it into the trash.

His movements were neither smooth nor hurried as he grabbed his jeans and pulled them on.

Body lax and trembling, Kash took in the tensile strength of his thighs, the taut roundness of his ass, the tapered jut of his hips, still greedy for him.

“I don’t have it in me to cuddle you,” he said, his fingers on the band of his jeans. A muscle flicked in his granite-hard jaw while he kept his gaze carefully away from her. “But if you need it?—”

“No,” she said, closing her eyes. “I get it.”

Even the drag of the sheet over her skin felt like too much, while her pulse dully throbbed in her ears. She had nothing left in her to reassemble the walls he had taken down. And honestly, she didn’t want to try.

Neither could she give into the urging of every cell in her to stop him, to beg him to spend the night with her, to hold her. Her exhausted limbs faintly ached with the need to feel his solid warmth again.

She fought all of it, as if her life was dependent on it. Maybe it was. Definitely her ability to function tomorrow morning as a rational adult was at stake.

He halted by the door, hair rumpled, lips swollen. Then his eyes flicked to hers. If she looked too long into those brown depths, she might drown and never come up for air.

“You’re okay?” he said, his voice not quiet steady.

Fresh tears filled her eyes, but Kash held them back. She even managed a smile, though her vision turned foggy. “I will be. Thank you, Diego. For saving me,” she whispered the last to herself.

He stared at her for another long moment, gave her a swift nod. She couldn’t help flinching as the door clicked shut behind him.

The silence that followed pressed in on her, thick and suffocating.

She pulled the sheet tighter around herself. The warmth she sought, that had been wrapped around her—his weight, his hands, his voice—was gone but the scent of him lingered. Of the cocktail they had made together, and she breathed it in.

And it hit her then, all at once.

The way he’d touched her and looked at her.

Trust Diego to make her feel seen, wanted, and adored by breaking her apart.

Smiling, she turned around and stared up at the ceiling. Everything inside her felt loose, shaky, like the ground had fallen away. Like now that she had been freed from her own prison, anything was possible.

Her muscles ached, tender and raw, but it was nothing compared to how keenly her heart pounded. For she knew, she had opened the door to something incredibly tender. But it had nowhere else to go and she couldn’t let it grow.

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