Page 7 of Hold Me for Now

Jesus.

T sees where I’m looking and blushes bright red. He angles his body away, hiding whatever resides in those jeans. He coughs into his hand and clears his throat.

And we’re back to being awkward again. Me with my arms covering my breasts. Him hiding his erection. For a minute, I wonder if we’re really going to be able to do this. We might both be too insecure, too overwhelmed, to make it happen.

Chapter five

Dr.Dmustbethinking the same thing. His voice is overly loud in the small space. “You two are doing great,” he encourages. “Let’s not lose this momentum. Help each other take off your clothes.”

Neither of us reacts to his request. Instead, we eye each other warily. Tension rises, broken when T flicks his eyes to the speaker in the wall. “Can we—uh—can we like dim the lights or something? It’s kinda bright in here.”

He’s right, of course. It’s like a thousand suns shine down on us, with all the fluorescent lights recessed into the ceiling. It gives the room a clinical, hospital feel. Not exactly something that sparks romance.

Dr. D sounds apologetic when he responds with a hurried, “Oh! Of course. Here you go.” The lights dim, settle down to a glow. Shadows soften enough that I let my arms drop. I reach down for the zipper on my skirt, but strong fingers beat me there.

“Here.” T’s voice is husky and low. “Let me help.” There’s something sensual about how slowly he unzips me, about how he helps to shimmy my skirt over my hips and down to my ankles. I step out of it and stand only in my boots and fishnet stockings. No underwear.

T licks his lips. Unblinking, he stares at me with his chest rising and falling rapidly. “I think I dreamed about this once,” he murmurs. His voice is distant, like he’s slipped into a trance.

There’s no change in his expression or the way his eyes explore my body when I unbutton his pants and unzip him. Before I can pull them down, he knocks my hand away. Staring at the ground, his jaw tense, T mumbles, “I don’t want you to be turned off. I’m kinda big. My wife says it’s too much, that it’s…unnatural.”

A semihysterical laugh climbs my throat along with 500 sarcastic comments, but I swallow them down. He’s serious about this, insecure about his body. A tiny flare of anger lights in my chest at this unknown woman—his wife—who planted this doubt in his mind.

I hook my fingers into the belt loops of his jeans and tug him toward the bed. “Why don’t you let me be the judge of that?”

Walking backward, I tow him along until the back of my legs hits the edge of the bed. I sit, my face at the level of his stomach. Tilting my head up to stare into T’s eyes, I pull his pants down to his knees. His erection springs free. I can see it in my peripheral vision, but I don’t look at it. Without taking my eyes off him, I lean down and take him into my mouth. T’s eyes go round with shock, then slide closed as his chest heaves. He groans, deep and guttural. That sound travels straight to my core, where wetness pools.

I have a few things I pride myself on. Singing the alphabet backward, getting a perfect score on the verbal section of the SAT, and giving mind-bending blow jobs. Even my shittiest of boyfriends have commented on how I give the best head. Full of my own confidence, I take T deep, choking a bit because, although he’s not the biggest I’ve ever had, he’s definitely in the top three. I curl my lips over my teeth so I don’t hurt him and bob up and down on his cock, letting it slide down the back of my throat with every dip of my head.

“Holy fuck.” T winds his fingers into my hair, clasping my head as I work. I brace myself, waiting for him to force me deeper, to shove my face against his nuts like so many men have done in the past, but he doesn’t. He just cups my head and brushes his thumbs over my temples in slow circles. I close my fist around his shaft and squeeze gently while my other hand comes up to cup his balls. T groans again, his body tensing like he’s close to coming. I ready myself to swallow but don’t get the chance because that’s when Dr. D interrupts.

“Let’s move on from oral sex,” he says, almost like he’s bored. “I want this session to focus on penetration as the vehicle that leads to orgasm. You’ve both reported that as your greatest challenge. Please finish undressing and then I’d like you to get in bed together.”

Chapter six

Tpullsback,hischestheaving and his expression dazed. “Damn, K. That was amazing.”

Pride warms my insides. I toss my hair and smirk. “I know. It’s kind of my specialty.”

I expect him to laugh, like he did earlier, but instead something angry, almost possessive, flickers in the depth of his eyes. Jaw working, he turns away, giving me a view of his very fine ass. With his back to me, he steps out of his jeans and underwear, then neatly folds them and bends down to put them on the floor.

When T finally faces me again, there’s a distance between us, a wariness in his expression. I’m not sure what I did to deserve it. It shouldn’t bother me, his sudden frostiness. I don’t even know this guy. I’ll never see him again. It hurts my feelings somehow, like he’s rejecting me before I’ve even had him. My spirits plummet, and sadness creeps in.

Refusing to look at him, I lean over to untie my boots. I’ve got the knot undone on the first one when T drops to his knees before me. Deft fingers untie my other boot with lightning speed. He holds the back of my calf and yanks off one boot, followed by the next. He rises to his full height, reminding me just how tall he is.

“Lean back,” T says, his voice gruff.

I do as he says, laying on my back with my legs dangling over the edge. He grips the top of my stockings and pulls. I lift my hips, deliberately staring at the ceiling, as he drags my tights off until I’m completely naked. The bed dips as he climbs in next to me. T helps me shift up higher until my head lands on the thin pillow. The mattress creaks, the sound loud in the silence. A whisper of fabric signals the sheet being drawn up. He pulls it over my body in a clumsy attempt at modesty, covering me from the shoulders down. I roll onto my side, facing him as he settles onto the other pillow, burrowing under the sheet.

My hair has spilled across my cheek, tangling from all the movement. T brushes it aside with a soft, “Hey.” His expression is sympathetic, like he understands the snarled knots of my emotions because he feels the same way.

“This is so weird, right?”

I gust out a startled laugh, the sound bursting free, easing the tension in my chest. “Yeah. I’m never telling anyone I did this. Likenever ever.”

He chuckles with me, the sound of our laughter blending into one, filling the empty space between us. “Same here.Never.”

I roll onto my back, but the weight of his eyes stays on me, heavy and warm. Unwavering.

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