Page 65 of Rebel in the Deep

But I do.

Bowen extends a hand to pull me aboard, and he doesn’t even need magic to practically toss me onto the deck. I land easily and pull the water from everyone’s clothing to send it back where it belongs. “Let’s go.”

Bastian looks like he wants to argue, but the rest of them quickly move to their respective responsibilities. We won’t have a proper navigator for this, but we don’t need one unless things go catastrophically wrong—and then we’ll have bigger problems to worry about than being lost. All we have to do is sail directly west and we’ll come to the east side of Lyari.

I nod at Bowen. “I’ll fill the sails. You get us there.”

He takes up position at the helm, wrapping his big handsaround the spokes of the wheel with something akin to reverence. Through all his time on theAudacity, I’ve never picked up on even a whiff of ambition, but it’s clear he misses being captain. If we survive this, there will be plenty of ships available for use. Maybe even his former one, theCrimson Hag.

There’s no time to waste. I walk to a good spot at the stern and slowly draw the wind streams to us. Just enough to fill the sails as we turn for open sea. We can’t see Lyari yet, but with my magic creating superficial perfect sailing conditions, we’ll reach it late tonight.

It’s an hour or two later when Siobhan comes to stand next to me. I’ve worked up a light sweat, but it’s a naturally windy day, so I’m using a lot less energy than I would otherwise. I don’t have to generate the wind from nothing, just nudge it in the right direction.

She doesn’t speak for a long time, and I give her the gift of silence. Maybe I should be like Bastian, demanding answers, but I’ve sailed with the Cwn Annwn—and the rebellion, for that matter—long enough to realize that acceptable losses, no matter how much I hate them, areacceptablefor a reason. There’s a decent chancenoneof us survive what comes next. I can’t let the fear of losing someone—of losing myself—stop us. Too much hangs in the balance.

Finally, Siobhan says, “Bastian’s not wrong.”

A shiver goes down my spine. For all my rationalizing, my immediate response takes me by surprise. “You arenotgoing to Lyari to die.”

Siobhan huffs out a raw laugh. “No, Nox, I’m not going to Lyari to die.”

Her words do little to reassure me. I glance at her quickly before turning my attention back to the sails. It takes no effort at all to read into what she isn’t saying. “But you don’t think you’ll be with us afterward.”

Her breath hitches, but when she speaks, her voice is perfectly even and contains an edge I’ve never heard before. A noble’s accent, each syllable so crisp I want to sink my teeth into them. “There will be work to do after the rot is purged. I won’t be able to travel around with your merry band of sailors and indulge in a life of…whatever your plans are. If this is handled poorly, then we’ll end up with a worse situation than we have now. We need clear leadership.”

This time, I stare. It’s foolish to forget where she came from, to ignore the fact thatshewas heir before her sister killed their parents and attempted to kill her, too. Even so, she’s never pulled that shit in all the time I’ve known her. “And you’re the leadership we need. Siobhan, the noble Cwn Annwn, who will lead all of Threshold into a new future.”

She lifts her chin. “Who else?”

My old anger surges forth, the still-healing wound of a young person who lost their love toresponsibilitytied to his noble blood. But I’m not that child any longer. I’ve lived too many years and seen too many things to let a broken heart confuse reality. I narrow my eyes. “Are you telling me that you intend to set yourself up as queen and savior of Threshold?”

“Of course.” She’s much better at lying than Bastian is, though that’s not saying much. They’re both terrible at it.

I shake my head. “If you don’t want a future with me, Siobhan, all you have to do is say so. No matter my feelings, I won’ttie you up in knots and demand you stay if that’s not what you want—but don’t bullshit me about playing queen when I can see the very idea practically gives you hives.”

“Nox.” Her breath shudders out and she turns away, wrapping her arms around herself. “You’re not making this easy.”

“I’m not trying to.” I urge a little more wind into our sails, making the deck jerk beneath our feet and Siobhan curse as she bumps into the railing. With a curse of my own, I ease just enough that we’re traveling smoothly. “You know, most sailors think it’s bad luck to talk about the future before a fight.”

She glances over her shoulder. “Oh, yeah?”

No. I’m lying through my teeth. But the thread of hope in her expression is enough to keep the lies spilling. “Yeah. Distracts you, makes you focus on the after instead of the now, which is a good way to get killed. Whatever it is you’re grappling with, we’ll deal with it after we blow this damn horn and save Threshold.”

It’s impossible to read Siobhan’s expression. There’s so much emotion in her honeyed eyes that it threatens to drown me. When she speaks, her voice is hoarse with things unsaid. “I love you.”

I hate that the words I’ve so longed to hear feel like she’s saying goodbye.

Chapter32

Siobhan

It’s been the better partof a decade—longer, really—since I’ve been in Lyari. With the highest concentration of Cwn Annwn and nobles in the capital city, it’s the one place in Threshold my identity is truly a liability.

Now it doesn’t really matter.

We anchor off the coast and swim to shore just as the sun touches the horizon. Most of the island is settled in residential areas, with a decreasing amount of space for farming as the years go on. It forces the population to be dependent on trade to get food, and somehow that food never quite makes it outside the city walls—at least not without having the prices marked up first. It means that folks have started leaving Lyari behind for smaller communities on different islands.

It’s a problem that will need solving if we want the future to be as hopeful as we’ve all dreamed. I hate knowing I won’t be here for that outreach, for those changes.

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