Page 56 of Rebel in the Deep

“Does that…feel good?” From how low Nox’s voice has gone, they’re close to orgasming, too.

“Yes,” I gasp. They hit the spot inside me that makes my thoughts turn to fuzz and words sprout from my lips. “I missed you so fucking much, Nox.”

They miss their next stroke. “Bastian…”

“I did.” I press one hand to Siobhan’s lower stomach so I can stroke her clit with my thumb. She’s obviously trying to keep her eyes open, but at the first touch, she loses that battle and cries out. “I missed both of you.” I know I’ve said it before, but neither of them can fully understand how deeply I mean it.

Siobhan has been my friend for thirteen years, my partner and lover for ten. We’ve fought countless times during those years, but this last argument raised the fear that maybe it would be the last. Then, when I was taken captive, I fully expected to be hauled back to Lyari and killed. I would have done my damnedest to not endanger Siobhan and the others; I was all but certain my death would be the end of any hope of fixing what our fight broke.

And Nox? Nox was my first love, the only other person in Threshold who carries a piece of my heart with them, no matter that up until recently, I thought I’d never see them again. It was enough to know that they were out there somewhere, living the life they’d dreamed of, the one I was too cowardly to follow them into.

To spend time with Nox and Siobhan, to sail with them, to have regained enough of their trust to share their bed? It’s a gift beyond measure.

Even as swept away as I am, I know better than to speak my feelings aloud. This may feel as right as anything I’ve ever done, but a few hours ago, Nox was ready to flee. I won’t give them reason to run again.

Nox grips my hips. “I’m close,” they whisper. “I want you to come, Bastian. Stop being a hero and holding out.” They thrustinto me, harder than they have previously. The pleasure is almost too much to bear. “Siobhan wants that, too, don’t you, love? You want him to make a mess of you?”

Siobhan clenches around me. “Yes!”

“Give the lady what she wants, Bastian.” Nox is pure temptation in my ear, their voice as desperate as the feeling burgeoning inside me, one I thought long buried. “Don’t make me…” They moan, low and long, grinding into me with a frenzy that I can only match.

I thrust hard into Siobhan, keeping up my steady stroking of her clit. Each retreat has me thrusting back onto Nox’s cock, still moving inside me with a purpose that has pressure shooting down my spine and gathering in my balls. “I’m going to…” And then I’m coming, pounding deep into Siobhan, getting pounded deep by Nox. My orgasm seems to last forever, draining every bit of myself.

I can’t even collapse properly at the end of it because of my current position, kneeling between Siobhan and Nox. “Fuck. I—fuck.”

“Yeah.” Siobhan shivers, her eyes still closed.

“Give me a second.” Nox is pressed to my back. I feel every single one of their rough inhales and equally ragged exhales. Their cock slowly shrinks and then eases out of me. From the way Siobhan twitches, they’ve done the same to her. Nox brushes a kiss against my spine and slumps over to the side. “Damn.”

Now it’s my turn to disentangle myself. My thigh tries to cramp, but I do my best to ignore it as I carefully lie down on Siobhan’s other side. She’s got a small smile pulling at her lips, and I can’t help but kiss it.

I look up and meet Nox’s gaze. Pleasure makes their lids heavy, their expression relaxed. Even with all that, there’s a growing guardedness on their face. I open my mouth, but they hold up a tired hand before I can speak. “Let’s just keep things simple, yeah?”

Simple.

The very idea is laughable. We’re three people with an increasingly complicated and tangled relationship, which would be challenge enough if that was all we faced. But it’s not.

We’re sailing into certain danger—possibly even certain death—as we speak. I refuse to believe that we’re going to die, no matter what Siobhan and Nox fear. The horn is the answer, and if we don’t know the exact details of how it works, it’s enough hope to survive on. We just need a plan and a small, solid team.

I want to tell Nox that we’re going to live, damn it. I want to challenge their fear and replace it with hope.

But I know better. For some, hope can be summoned with the right combination of words. Most peoplewantto hope, rather than give in to despair. But Nox isn’t most people; neither is Siobhan. With the lives of so many people resting on their shoulders, they can only respond to facts and actions, not dreams.

I want to tell them that I’ll dream enough for the both of them. I don’t. Neither of them will thank me for even saying it.

So I don’t challenge Nox’s words. I just nod. “Sure. Simple.”

They relax instantly, the tension bleeding away from their shoulders. “Thank you.” They kiss Siobhan and then slide off the bed to start working on getting the strap off. “That was good. Really, really good.”

For a moment, I’m certain they’re running again, but then they kick the strap off and climb back into bed to settle down next to Siobhan. She immediately pulls them close and tucks them against her side. It strikes me that it could always be like this…that Iwantit to always be like this.

Chapter28

Nox

I sleep better than I havein months—years—and wake up sandwiched between Bastian and Siobhan as if, even in sleep, they fear I’m going to panic and bolt the first chance I get. I wish they were wrong. I’ve never felt more conflicted. I convinced myself to stop fighting my attraction and feelings for them under the assumption that we’d be dead long before a broken heart became a real risk.

Except waking up listening to their steady breathing has true fear roiling inside me. I’m not prepared to lose either of them. I wasn’t before, but now that I know how Siobhan tastes, have been reminded how sweetly Bastian comes? Now that I’ve had a night of feeling cared for, I crave it with an intensity that scares me.

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