Page 43 of Rebel in the Deep

Almost immediately, a pleasant fuzziness gathers around my racing mind. I close my eyes and inhale one last time before taking Dia’s wrist and placing the blunt in her hand so she doesn’t have to open her eyes.

I barely register that Siobhan is moving before she takes my elbow and tugs me away from the others, to a remarkably clear corner where Bastian waits. Not quite out of earshot, but close enough that the others can pretend they don’t witness their hissing words in my ear. “What the fuck do you think you were doing, leaving us behind?”

I might not be able to summon my charismatic mask with my current stress level, but the drugs unwind me deliciously. Ishrug easily and smile. “I would think that that was apparent. And yet neither of you follow orders all that well, do you?”

“Not particularly,” Bastian murmurs. “It’s one of my many charms.”

“How could I follow orders when you’re avoiding me and so have given none?” Siobhan looks like she wants to shake me, but thankfully manages to resist the impulse. “This won’t work if you keep going around me—around us—and taking unnecessary risks. We have to work together, Nox. All three of us.”

We.

With the whole of the Cwn Annwn’s fleet on our heels, I have so much to worry about, so much to fear. And yet that single word, those two little letters, strikes terror into the very heart of me.

Chapter22

Siobhan

“There is no ‘us,’ ” Noxsnaps.

“There could be,” Bastian counters. “If you’d stop running.”

All it takes is one look at Nox’s expression to know that Bastian was right. Theyarerunning from us. I even understand why. I’ve avoided taking steps past the point of no return with the rebellion for longer than I want to admit. Stepping into the light and revealing myself to be alive, facing down my sister, watching the people I’ve come to care about die in a fight that might not be victorious? It’s terrifying…but no less terrifying than the more personal battles for the heart of someone I care about.

Nox knows the stakes better than anyone, both for their heart and their life. Of course they’d try to put enough distance between themself and that potential pain.

I don’t have the words to reassure them. There are no guarantees in life, but especially in this situation. I think experiencinglove is worth the potential pain of losing it, but I can’t make that choice for Nox.

Dia saves me from potentially saying the wrong thing and ending this before it’s had a chance to begin. The old woman exhales another circle of smoke. “Ah, yes. The horn.”

Instantly, every one of us goes still, Bowen and Evelyn ceasing their quiet conversation in the corner. We all turn to Dia. Bastian cautiously says, “We need to know about the horn.”

“My great-grandmother, several times removed, was the one who created the case that it now resides in.” She speaks in a low, even tone that almost sounds like she’s in a trance. She still hasn’t opened her eyes, but she continues to smoke regularly between sentences. “She didn’t know where they found it, only that it was of the utmost importance to ward it as quickly and as thoroughly as they could. She wasn’t the kind of woman to allow sloppy work under her command, so it was something of a fight with her and the Council of her time.”

I lean forward. We are so close to an answer, and the slowness of her speech makes me want to do something to cause her to pick up her pace. I don’t realize that I’m actually moving closer to the old woman until Nox grabs my arm in a gentle grip and shakes their head.

From her seat, Dia continues. “My ancestor didn’t like being pressured, and so she took it upon herself to find out exactly what was so dangerous about this horn as to get the Council into a tizzy.”

“What did she find?” Bowen asks softly. I don’t think I’ve ever heard him speak so quietly, and it’s an indication that Dia has used this method to retrieve information before.

“Inconclusive,” Dia says slowly. “There was a lot ofwhispering, but no definitive answers. All she could discover was that the Council feared the horn enough that they wanted it close instead of hiding it away where no one would ever see it. There was something about the noble families fighting them on this choice, which is why it ended up in the section of the library where only the nobles can pass freely. But still warded, still kept away from curious hands and minds.” She exhales in a shuddering breath and opens her eyes. “I’m sorry. That’s all I have.”

“It’s perfect, Dia.” Bowen goes to her and offers a hand so that she can rise, even though she seems spry enough not to need it. “It helped immensely.”

It didn’t help at all. I barely manage to keep the words trapped behind my teeth. We came all this way, risked so much, and for what? Rumors passed down from an ancient ancestor? The Council are afraid of a lot of things. Just because they seemed particularly worried about this one doesn’t mean it can actually be wielded against them. It might blow all of Lyari off the map. That outcome is just as likely as summoning my legendary ancestors.

I glance at Bastian to see my frustration mirrored in his face. This wasn’t enough. We needed a guarantee in order to make the trip to Lyari. If the horn was a weapon that could take on the whole of the Cwn Annwn, then it would have been a neat side step to avoid war. It still might be, but sailing into certain danger on the strength of rumors and assumptions is a large ask.

Nox pulls their frustration together quickly. They give a short bow to Dia. “You are always welcome on my ship, though it’s bound to be more dangerous than normal in the near future.”

“Life is dangerous. I’ll still take that offer.” Dia snuffs out herblunt and tucks the remainder into an interior pocket in her jacket. “Let me grab my bag and we’ll go.”

Nox barely waits for her to exit the room before they turn back to me and Bastian. “I know what you’re thinking and the answer isabsolutely not.”

“We still don’t have a better option,” Bastian cuts in. “Even without a guarantee, we have to try.”

“On the contrary, we have thousands of better options than certain death. Because that’s exactly what will happen if we sail to Lyari. Even if they don’t know we’re coming—and they will because they have such an intricate system of information networks—you want me to take my crew into an openly hostile harbor. Andthen, if we somehow survive that, get close enough to the damned Council to be one room below their meeting chambers to break the wards around this thing that have been in place for generations, and then blow a damn horn and hope it doesn’t bring about the end of the fucking world. Because right now, that’s as likely as anything else.”

They’re right. I know they’re right. “The Cwn Annwn used to do good.”

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